Sunday snicker

Three nuns are talking. The first nun says, “I was cleaning in
Father’s room the other day and do you know what I found? A
bunch of pornographic magazines.”

“What did you do?” the other nun asks. “Well, of course I
threw them in the trash.”

The second nun says, “Well, I can top that. I was in
Father’s room putting away the laundry and I found a
bunch of condoms!” “Oh my!” gasp the other nuns.

“What did you do?” they ask. “I poked holes in all of
them!” she replies.

The third nun faints.

Recap

I awoke this morning feeling as if I had slept for
hours and had all the aches of body and fuzziness
of mind to prove it. Since the low was supposed to
be in the 40s last night and the wife was working
I decided to throw open a window and turn on a fan.

I got so cold that when I glanced in the mirror
Papa Smurf looked back at me! It was the longest
4 hours of my life. So here are a few things that
happened while my body was horizontal and a few
things that will happen this weekend.

Here where the north shore of the Mississippi
river meets the east coast the Iowa we have had 10
shots fired calls this week and 121 for the year.
The people of Davenport are starting to pay
attention.

Today is the Planes, Trains & Automobiles Car Show
in Galesburg, Illinois and later is the Quad Cities
Cruisers’ Cruise In at the Davenport Learning
Center on West Kimberly.

Today is also the 8th Annual Fruitland Fun Day Car
Show held at Drake Park in Fruitland, Iowa from 9
am to 2 pm.

Technology can be a wonderful thing, but at times
it gets strange. The first time we watched this
short video we thought Land Rover had lost its
mind. A transparent hood?

We had never heard of the 4 Stroke Rumen until
recently and thought it an orphan make of the past.
Turns out that instead of being a 1930s vintage the
car is actually of 21st century design. The video
is in a different language, but the car is neat.

For pictures and more information on this car, go
here.

And now we all know. Have a great weekend.
Comments are always welcome.

Another year

It has now been 14 years since the towers fell,
the Pentagon burned, and one plane went down. We
must not forget. Everyone who was old enough to
remember does and those who weren’t old enough
should.

We offer our condolences to the families, our
gratitude to the first responders, and a thanks to
country for staying strong.
Comments are always welcome.

Did you know?

Today is World Suicide Prevention Day and this
week is National Suicide Prevention Week. Just so
you know, there are over 4.8 million survivors of
attempted suicide in the U.S. alone. Suicide is the
11th leading cause of death here, and over 90% of
all suicide fatalities had depression, another
diagnosable mental illness, or had a problem with
substance abuse.

Active military and veterans have double the
suicide rate on non-veterans and the suicide rate
for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or
questioning is 3 times the average rate. If you
want to learn more go here.
Comments are always welcome.

One of our problems

We mentioned dreams so we thought to say something
about the opposite end of the spectrum. Playing the
blame game. In our modern society we have a lot of
people who aren’t happy. We have riots, road rage,
racist attacks, and anger seems at an all time
high.

The root cause of all this misery is the same
regardless of the circumstances. It boils down to
this: if you aren’t happy with yourself, nobody
else can make you happy either.

We had these problems back in our day but with one
exception. We took personal responsibility and if
we failed, screwed up, or got arrested, we admitted
it. Now all we hear is racism, lack of jobs, lack
of money, lack of respect, and even the police have
been blamed for the problems.

And all are the symptoms but not the cause. The
cause of all the anger is because these people are
not happy with the direction their lives have taken
them. So they sit on the pity pot and play the
blame game and the race card while trying to
portray themselves as victims.

It is past time to look in the mirror and find the
root cause of all the problems. The problem isn’t
that 150 years ago someone owned slaves, the
problem is some would rather loot and riot than
acquire the skills necessary to get a job.

The problem is some think the world owes them a
living. They forget that what one gets free another
has to pay for.

Some say too many blacks are getting arrested for
committing crimes so their answer is to kill
members of law enforcement. This brings an old
adage to mind “don’t do the crime if you can’t do
the time”.

The problem is too many people are spewing too
much hate. The time has come for all to remember we
are Americans. While all these groups have been
letting their grievances be known they haven’t been
paying attention to what is going on around them.

Quit running with the crowd mentality and think!
Comments are always welcome.

On the river of dreams

If you ask around most people will admit they dream
and very few will say they don’t. But do most
really know what a dream is?

“A Dream is a Wish Your Makes” is the title of a
song by Mack David, Al Hoffman and Jerry Livingston
that they composed for the Disney film
“Cinderella”. It is also the title of Annette
Funicello’s autobiography written in 1994.

We’ve always liked that turn of words because,
let’s face it, some of us are dreamers. In fact, we
firmly believe that if it wasn’t for dreams a lot
of us would turn into raving lunatics. We all like
to have something to hold on to.

Webster’s New World Dictionary defines “dream” as:

1. a sequence of images,etc. passing through a
sleeping person’s mind

2. a daydream; reverie

3. a fond hope

4. anything dreamlike

Knowing this we cannot conceive how anyone could
not dream. Artists dream with paint, writers dream
with words, and paupers dream of wealth. We have
pipe dreams, dream vacations, and the American
dream.

Those who say they don’t dream have our
condolences. To those who do dream we offer
congratulations, for we are the ones who hold the
keys to the next great invention, or something that
will people laugh, cry, think, or smile.

So keep dreaming! All we ask is that you keep the
tires in your own lane while doing so.
Comments are always welcome.

Still got it

I now find myself checking the computer for any
glitches at 4:45 am and not finding any. Since I
am now wide awake it seems like the thing to do.
Why, you may ask?

After a glorious 90 minutes of slumber our alarm
system went off which caused me to go from sound
asleep to awake and running in about 3 seconds. I
could have sworn it was the klaxon sounding over
the 1MC calling us to battle stations on the
destroyer we were stationed on.

I have not been in the Navy since the the late
70s, but when the alarm sounded I jumped up and
ran toward what I believed to be the starboard side
of the ship. Which put me on a collision course
with our stove.

It was about that time I noticed the digital clock
on the stove blinking and realized we were not at
battle stations but had lost power and the alarm
thought somebody had cut the power to the house.

Since I noticed my heart had started beating again
and we were in no eminent danger of an attack the
alarm was reset and I tried to go back to sleep.
Yeah right. As a lifelong insomniac I know when I’m
beat and got back up to face the day.

But I did find solace in the fact that I reacted,
let instinct take over, and faced the unknown, Even
if it was just a blinking digital clock on the
stove. We hope your morning starts out better than
ours and you keep the shiny side up.

Time to run. The smoking lamp is lit and the
coffee is calling me by name.
Comments are always welcome.

Happy Labor Day

Clowning around

Welcome from the balmy climate of Cruiser’s Office
where it’s always hot in the summer and cold in the
winter. The office is one of two rooms in our house
that has no duct work and thus, no heat or air
conditioning. But I digress.

I went out to have a chat with the man in the moon
last night but he decided to take a night off so I
did some thinking on my own. And here is what I
came up with.

Thinking of clowns I had a revelation. We have sad
clowns, happy clowns, scary clowns, rodeo clowns,
and even killer clowns from outer space. But I can’t
remember ever seeing a clown in house slippers.That
struck me as odd.

It’s not like they’d be worried about getting
embarassed because nobody could tell if they were
blushing through all that make up. It wouldn’t be a
safety concern because they run around in shoes
that are 3 feet long already. And they must have a
sense of humor or at least know what people think
is funny.

Just once I’d like to see a clown wearing those
fuzzy pink bunny slippers! It would sure ease my
mind. Rodeo clowns would be exempt because they
need shoes they can run in. I sure miss the man
in the moon.
Comments are always welcome.

Sunday snicker

A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and
inquired of his father as to when they could discuss
his use of the car.

His father said he’d make a deal with his son. “You
bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study
your Bible a little, and get your hair cut. Then we’ll
talk about the car.”

The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he’d
settle for the offer, and they agreed on it. After about
six weeks, his father said “Son, you’ve brought your
grades up and I’ve observed that you have been studying
your Bible, but I’m disappointed you haven’t had your
hair cut.”

The boy said, “You know, Dad, I’ve been thinking about
that, and I’ve noticed in my studies of the Bible that
Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair,
Moses had long hair, and there’s even strong evidence
that Jesus had long hair.”

Dad’s reply, “Did you also notice that they all walked
everywhere they went?”
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Comments are always welcome.