Dorito loving bears

November 13, 2020

Had a dream last night that woke me up this morning gasping, cussing, and on high alert. When the dream started I was seated at the desktop typing out something when all of a sudden heard a very noisy crash. Thought some kid in a stolen car had tried to hit the house again so ran out to investigate. It was not a car but a full grown bear in the dining room eating my Doritos!

So I grab my antique single-shot 12-gauge and shoot him. The bear did not like this and roared so loud I thought it broke my eardrums. So I pulled out my Navy Colt and fired 4 times center mass. The bear looked at me as if to say ‘will you stop that’. We were at a standstill. So I grabbed the phone and called 911 thinking they would have an idea on how to get a bear out of the dining room.

Imagine my surprise when I told the dispatcher that my emergency was a bear in our dining room and was told they don’t do bears! Not one to give up but not having any heavy artillery I grabbed a weighted nightstick and thumped the bear on the head. That didn’t go well but did get his attention. So thinking on my feet I grabbed another bag of Doritos thinking if the bear liked them so much I could make a trail of them for the bear to follow back outside. And it might have worked if the bear hadn’t sniffed a few pieces of leftover pizza sitting on the stove.

When the pizza was gone the bear went back to the trail of Doritos and waddled outside. Great, now just have to keep him out. That’s when I noticed the back door was kindling and the bear could re-enter. So I unplugged the refrigerator, pushed it across the kitchen, and plugged the hole. The bear never came back but hindsight had me wondering how hard it would be for a full grown bear to knock down the fridge. About that time I woke up wondering what was going on. Once I realized it was a dream I remembered it’s Friday the 13th. I have to go easy on the hot sauce after midnight.

So I’m a little wore out this morning yet still hope you have a great Friday the 13th. Now for some coffee and to see if the bear got all the pizza. Comments are always welcome.


The dream

September 19, 2020

picture from Hemmings

I awoke from a dream so real this morning I could smell the cigarette
smoke and stale beer. In the dream three of us were bar hopping in a 1952 Willys Aero Ace as shown above. Among those of us in the Willys, and drinking, I was the only one still alive.

By that I mean my Mom, brother, and myself, decided to take a
totally trashed Willys that rode like it had three square wheels
and visit some dives with honkeytonk jukeboxes. Said bars even had
the jar of pickled boiled eggs sitting in front of the taps.

For some reason I was designated driver of the wayward Willys and
both the beer and peanuts tasted stale. We started at a skid row bar
where I made sure to get cigarettes out of the machine to ensure I
didn’t run out.

Then the dream got strange. At least to me it got stranger than
drinking with two dead relatives and driving a car none of us ever
had, but I digress. We ended up at a place that had the shortest bar
we’d ever seen. It was long enough for four bar stools and filled
up as soon as the three of us sat down.

The juke box was full of songs by Merle Haggard, Patsy Cline, Lefty
Frizzell, Hank Williams, and more. But this bar entered the Twilight
Zone when we noticed the ‘bottomless’ beer glasses. No matter how
long you sipped your beer the glass never got empty and the beer
stayed cold.

That’s when I woke up and realized it was just a dream. After all,
I haven’t had a beer since 1987! But it was good to spend time with
Mom and John again even if it wasn’t real.

Enjoy our Saturday. Now for more coffee and leftover pizza.
Comments are always welcome.


Of dreams and more

November 18, 2019

Last night I had another strange dream. Knew it was a dream as I was
at my senior prom. Having never been to a prom the fact of said
dream became obvious. I had not attended any dance or reunion since
I left high school and never had a desire to do so.

So I was at the prom with and actually had a good time. Ok,
borderline nightmare. My Chevy was parked in the lot in case a
quick getaway was needed and when friends stopped to chat talk
turned to cars.

My first wife was my date and always saying that I loved my cars
more than her. She may have had a point as she is my ex now. After
the prom some races were set up and cars headed for the marked off
quarter mile to see who got bragging rights. And that’s where I
woke up.

On another note, after the backyard shootings in California our
legislators are calling for stricter gun control laws. Lord love a
duck! California already has some of strictest gun control laws in
the nation, that aren’t working, and they want more?

You cannot deter the criminal element with laws against law
abiding citizens. It is well past time to quit blaming the gun and
start blaming the shooter. The vast majority of which got their
guns illegally anyway. Go after the gun runners and shooters instead
of trying to demonize the legal owners who have done nothing
wrong.

The 2nd amendment is written as it is for a reason. There is no
interpretation of ‘shall not be infringed’. Instead of going after
legal gun owners and the NRA politicians would better serve us by
just doing what they swore to do. Protect and defend the
Constitution.

Enjoy our Monday as it’s the first day of the rest of our lives.
Now for some coffee and breakfast.
Comments are always welcome.


Robotic what?

November 16, 2019

Woke up late again and almost broke my neck getting into my jeans.
It was 9 am and way past time to get moving. The wife thought I
needed the sleep yet the feral cats were not happy getting fed three
hours late. They did like the fresh water though.

Now four hours behind schedule it’s make up time. Not sure how
things will go but am going to give it my best shot. Should be in
the low 40s today and I’ll make it a point to take the camera out
and see what looks interesting.

In my dream last night I worked in a factory assembling life
size robotic raccoons. We had a glitch in a machine and all the
raccoons that came off the line had the back legs on backwards.
Since they moved when we tested them we let them pass down the
line.

Higher ups weren’t happy as we explained that while the legs were
on backwards the mechanical features still worked. They just
hopped backwards. They didn’t buy we may be able to sell them as
post apocalyptic hybrids that survived the A bomb.

Nobody got fired but we did spend some time taking the robots
apart and putting them back together with the legs facing forward.
When I awoke I thought for sure there would be robotic raccoon
parts scattered all over. Thankfully there weren’t.

Enjoy our Saturday as it will be over before we know it. Now for
some coffee and pizza rolls.
Comments are always welcome.


Pleasant dreams

September 20, 2019

We’re back from the grocery a whole lot of dollars shorter than when
we left. And we didn’t fill the trunk! But once in a while we like to
stock up on certain things and a few cravings didn’t help. It all adds
up when you’re not looking.

Last night I had another strange dream yet strange in a good way. Mom stopped by for visit. She has been gone for 9 years now and sneaks up on me when I least expect it. Not a scary experience by any means, more like her spirit becomes visible and we talk.

Of course it wouldn’t be a visit from Mom without her pulling on the
end of my mustache to get my attention. She’d been doing that since
she found out I was skipping classes in high school. Earlier in the
day a pair of cardinals hung around in the nearby brush long enough
for me to get some pictures so I figured she was coming.

Never one to pull any verbal punches she told me all she thought I
was doing wrong then praised me for what was going right. The old
blue eyed Indian was in rare form. She got me laughing when she said
that Dad wasn’t going to be around forever.

That may sound odd, but Dad is 94 years old now and we know he has a lot more time behind him than ahead. I wish he outlived me but since he already lost one son also know it would be painful for him. I woke up shortly after the dream ended and Moms spirit had left with a big grin. It was a nice visit.

Enjoy our Friday as it will be raining here most of the weekend
here. If we get as much rainfall as predicted it will end the
drought. Now for some coffee.
Comments are always welcome.


Of strange dreams

September 5, 2019

Late yesterday afternoon went to see if the moon was visible in the
blue sky, get a picture, and have a chat. After returning inside I
realized I hadn’t eaten anything so fried up a couple cheeseburgers.
Add a Coke, a big helping of potato chips, and a Snicker’s ice cream
bar and it was the perfect meal.

The food made me drowsy so I turned in early at 8 pm. Decided a good nights sleep was in order and woke up refreshed but noticed it was still dark out. Thinking it was early morning I made coffee but when I looked at the clock it displayed 11:15 pm.

But all was not wasted as I had a dream that needed to be thought
about. In the dream I built another vehicle, a Model A pickup this
time. And this one was different as it had no windows. Everywhere a
window opening should be was covered with metal.

It was a masterpiece. Until I tried to drive it. Plans of putting
rubber bumpers all around the truck was quickly dismissed as I
imagined that while said bumpers may prevent some body damage the
owners of vehicles hit might get a bit angry.

So another path was taken. I enrolled in the Roy Orbison School of
Driving for the Blind. When that didn’t work a periscope was rigged
that stuck out of top and swiveled. This worked reasonably well but
still left a huge blind spot.

So I chopped the top to allow 4 inch tall windows all around and believed the problem was solved. It was not. The cab was now so short I couldn’t get skinny old body into it, but it did look sharp. It may be for sale in my next dream.

Enjoy our Thursday as it means we’re that much closer to the weekend. Now I need more coffee to solve the problem.
Comments are always welcome.


Mixed up days

May 11, 2019

After an almost picture perfect day yesterday, today is as gray as the wifes cat. Yet even that has an upside as it’s warmer today despite the heavy cloud cover. After I woke this morning the days seem to be mixed up.

Last night my dream took us to a Navy destroyer in the middle of the Pacific. I knew the destroyer as my brother and myself were stationed on it. But for some reason we ran into storm after storm and were bobbing around. We hit a tsunami, a typhoon, and then a severe thunderstorm.

During these times the mess deck had a lot fewer sailors lining up for food so if cheeseburgers were on the menu I could chow down. The odd part of the dream was that family members were aboard in civvies. I’m surprised the wife didn’t ask me what I was dreaming about as I had to be swinging, grunting, and probably cussing during the dream.

When I did wake up I reached for my dungarees and was surprised the bed wasn’t listing to port. So today I’m a bit tired but glad we made it back.

And while outside yesterday this juvenile robin decided to pose for me but refused to smile for the camera. Don’t know if the bird ever found what it was looking for but it hopped all over the yard after the shot.

Enjoy our Saturday as that means the weekend is ticking away and will be gone before we know it. Now I need more coffee.
Comments are always welcome.


Flood dreams

May 3, 2019

We have a new record flood in both height and duration but at least no rain is forecast until next week. Our basement is now dry, the door bell is working again, and the mowing will start after we let the lawn dry out. Back to life as normal here in Davenport on the east coast of Iowa.

We haven’t taken any pictures of said flood as we’ve been a little busy with other things. Perhaps later I’ll sneak over to my favorite spot overlooking the river and see if we can get some from a different perspective.

When I laid down last night after my midnight pizza a few hours sleep was all that was needed. But in a dream we decided to go to a hotel in the flood zone and watch the flood from a third floor window. Since it was one of my dreams this wasn’t a normal hotel.

The building started life as a tractor factory then later bought and converted to a different kind of hotel. The first floor had the lobby, a restaurant, a few rooms, and a pool. But the entire second story was a garage run by the AAA.

No, not the American Automobile Association. This garage was run by the Amish Automobile Association! Cameras weren’t permitted inside of this garage or I’d have taken some. Let’s just say some of their tools gave one thought.

In our third flood room we could hear work being done in the garage below us so I got even less sleep than usual. Not sure if they got any repeat customers but it did make for an interesting stay.

Enjoy our Friday. Now I need more coffee and the leftover pizza to get ready to greet the sunrise.
Comments are always welcome.


Turtles?

March 21, 2019

Saw this guy first thing yesterday morning and thought it would be a great day. And it was. The moon went missing behind the clouds and the cheese on my pizza didn’t melt, but it was still a good day.

Then I fell asleep. After I nodded off I was transported back to a time when I was in the Navy and stationed in San Diego. A time when if off duty freedom was only as far away as my motorcycle. But this dream wasn’t about leaning into the curves and tearing up the highways, I had gotten a part time job.

How I ended up an employee of the San Diego Zoo I have no idea but as the dream progressed I found out my official title was ‘Turtle Waxer’. Being a car nut I had heard of Turtle Wax but have never heard of anyone Waxing turtles. I had to learn as I went.

Imagine my surprise when led to a long, but short, steel building and being told it was the automatic turtle wash. Much like a car wash but a lot slower. I was then told that as the cleaned and dried turtles came out the chute at the end my job began.

I was told to grab a can of paste wax and wax the top shell before tipping the turtle to get the bottom part of the shell. Then it was flip the turtle back over to buff the wax out then flip and repeat. And things went fine until one of those 300 year old giant buggers came down the line and I couldn’t flip it.

That was when I got on the bike and rode away. I guess you had to be there. Enjoy our Thursday as it means the weekend is only a dream away.
Comments are always welcome.


Needing a nap

March 15, 2019

I made the mistake of going to bed early last night and am now paying the price. For some odd reason by 10 o’clock my body was horizontal and nodding off fast. Usually I don’t even lay down until around midnight.

So thinking of a good nights rest with possible 4 or 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep, Imagine my surprise when I woke every hour once I put my body to bed. After 4 hours and 3 wake ups I decided that was all the sleep to be had.

Every time sleep overtook me I had the same dream. I was on the table in a hospital operating room and a doctor with a huge metal mirror over his head was working on the back of my neck while telling me to just relax. That was a bit strange to this redneck as I don’t like hospitals or operations.

When I mention this fact to others most act surprised and state that hospitals and operations keep us alive. But when I’m at home strange infections are never mentioned and medical mistakes are far from my mind. Actually, I don’t like the rehab after the operation either. But I digress.

So in the dream this surgeon keeps digging for what ever he believes is in my neck that doesn’t belong and telling me to relax. In the last dream I tell him that if I could get up I’d slap him silly. He chuckles at that but since I can’t move I can’t slap him silly.

Never did learn why he was operating on my neck or how it turned out but cannot afford to lose any sleep over it. Lost enough sleep last night. It wouldn’t have bothered except for the sitting up, wide awake, once an hour trying to figure out why I woke up.

Enjoy our Friday as it means we’re that much closer to St. Patrick’s Day. Now for some coffee, I really need it today.
Comments are always welcome.