Some news

By now you’ve probably heard that Biden is relaxing on a tropical isle and Barbara Walters died. Neither snippet should surprise anyone who hasn’t heard. Makes one wonder how either story made the news. Biden is on the isle and we guessed why. Someone with a bunch of letters behind their name probably came up with the idea that a warm climate would stimulate what’s left of Biden’s brain.

If that’s the case, and he stays long enough, he could end up only slightly dumber than a rock. Hadn’t heard if he signed the bill yesterday that would keep the government going and raise our taxes but am guessing he did. I often wonder why somebody doesn’t get him a rubber stamp with his name on it and an inkpad. He’d probably stamp his hand, but it would keep him busy.

And I have to say, the passing of Barbara Walters had zero effect on my life. Never cared much for her voice or attitude when she on the screen. I just don’t see the big deal that someone who got paid millions to read a teleprompter and lived to be 93. Guess I’m different in that respect if the posts on social media are anything to judge by. Hoping to get the Ford back today, or at least getting visitation rights. Enjoy our Saturday as tomorrow is a new year.

On a roll

Thought we’d do a little flyover in the ongoing saga of ‘if it weren’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all’. On top of being on a roll of bad luck, the latest installment includes stupidity. I was sick during the recent frigid days we recently had and only got out to feed and water the feral cats. Looking back, I should have started the car to keep the battery up.

I was surprised when I went out to go to the car wash yesterday and the battery was so low it wouldn’t even let me open the door to get in. Yeah, the battery was deader than a doornail. So I came back inside and called the dealership who told me to have it towed out to them. That started phase two.

The motor club informed me that they had no record of me being a member. That started a discourse, complete with membership and VIN numbers, that ended up getting me a tow. I must have made an impression as someone from the motor club called and said that a mistake had been made, I was a member, the account had been updated, and a new card would be mailed to me.

The car went on a rollback as it was all wheel drive, the driver took off, and I’ll probably hear from the dealership later today. So, during cold weather start your car. Even if you’re not going anywhere to keep the battery charged up. Enjoy our Friday as a new year is only a few days away.

Sometimes

Just when you think you have life figured out, it throws you a curveball. Got up yesterday and fed and watered the feral cats along with the ones inside then filled the Keurig and teapot. That done breakfast was made and eaten with gusto. So the dishes went in the sink with the intention of washing them.

Then the sink light gets turned on, the faucet gets opened, and nothing. No water. It seems I forgot about the days of sub-zero temperatures we just went through, and the water pipes froze. One advantage to living in the house for years is one usually knows where problems start.

Even though I insulated the hell out of the back room, I must have missed a spot. So, I went downstairs and opened the furnace vent, turned the furnace up, and placed a space heater in a crawlspace. A short 4 hours later we had water again and no pipes burst during the process. Enjoy our Thursday.

The phone call

While sitting at the kitchen table drinking my 25th cup of coffee for the day and watching NCIS reruns, the phone rang. Since it was well past sunset, I decided to investigate the ringing noise. Imagine my surprise when I picked up the phone and strange voice said, ‘how can I help you?’. So, I told the woman that I didn’t know as she called me.

When I heard the theme music from the Twilight Zone start I knew it was going to be interesting. The woman then said she wanted to talk to the wife about her account. So I explained that the wife died in July and I sent a copy of the death certificate to the company. Of course, she had no record of that on her computer.

So, I asked what was wrong with the account as I thought I had set up automatic withdrawal from my bank the last time I had talked to someone. Then she said she couldn’t discuss the account with me as I wasn’t listed on the account. So I was bumped up the chain of command to someone above the representative I had just talked to and was told the same thing. If my name wasn’t on the account they couldn’t discuss the account with me.

I explained that I had been making payments on said account since August and they took my money. I was then transferred to the lady in charge. After explaining my quandary the head lady in charge told me the company had set up a one time payment when I was told it would be direct withdrawal. She then asked if I would like to set up direct withdrawal.

Needless to say, after being told I was being sarcastic, I was once again assured that direct withdrawal was set up. For six months. At the end of six months I’m supposed to call them back to tell them if I want to continue direct withdrawal or pay off the bill. If this is progress, I’ll take the good old days. Enjoy our Wednesday.

Dwindling down

The fluffy white love from above has stopped falling as the year slows to an end. It won’t be long now and people will be putting the wrong year on forms and checks. The new year will be here before we know it with many making resolutions they won’t keep. I don’t. I still be the lovable, foul-mouthed guy I’ve always been.

Started watching local TV news again, only to remember why I stopped. The biggest takeaway from what I saw this morning is that with the windchill it was -40 last Thursday and this Thursday the high is supposed to be 55. We were then informed that was a 95-degree difference in a week. Must be a slow news day.

To be fair, the people who tell us their version of what’s going on don’t have an easy job. I couldn’t sit there and tell those bold-faced lies without ending up on the floor laughing hysterically. It can’t be easy. Enjoy our Tuesday.

Made it

Christmas is in the past and from many you can hear a sigh of relief. I spent Christmas alone nursing some kind of breathing issue while feeding the numerous cats around the place. I think it went alright. The oldest son and his wife stopped by with a goody box filled with sweet treats and the youngest called to have a chat.

Did have some offers to go out but turned them all down because of the bitter cold. That will also end this week and we may have a high of 50 on Thursday. But at least we had a white Christmas and that’s fine with me. Now we have New Year’s coming up and I don’t care about sitting home. We professional drinkers used to call New Year’s Eve amateur night and stayed home anyway.

Another nice thing about the holidays is that I haven’t been following the news. Instead of watching ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ this year I tuned into ‘Abbot and Costello Meet the Invisible Man’ for a few laughs. Not a Christmas movie but I didn’t mind the chuckles. Hoping you enjoyed your Christmas. Enjoy our Monday.

Sunday snicker

Grandma is eighty-eight and drives her own car…
She writes:

Dear Grand-daughter,

The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a

‘Honk if you love Jesus’ bumper sticker.

I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a

thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting.

So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.

Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience that followed.

I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn’t notice that the light had changed.

It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn’t honked, I’d never have noticed.

I found that lots of people love Jesus!

While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy,

and then he leaned out of his window and screamed,

‘For the love of God!’

‘Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!’

What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!

Everyone started honking!

I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving people.

I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!

There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach.

I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air.

I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant.

He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.

Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign right back.

My grandson burst out laughing.

Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!!

A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking toward me.

I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed.

So, grinning, I waved at all my brothers and sisters and drove on through the intersection.

I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared.

So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window, and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.

Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!!

Will write again soon,

Love, grandma

Merry Christmas

Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas. It’s a magical time of the year and we even have snow on the ground here at the east coast of Iowa. We hope you have time off from work, but if you don’t, we appreciate you being there for those who need you. Since Christmas this year falls on a Sunday, we’ve decided to do a snicker then and send best wishes now.

Bound to happen

Just when I think some people can’t get any dumber, they take it as a challenge and prove me wrong. At least this time it’s in the U.K. and not here. According to a newsletter I read today, radio stations in the U.K. are cutting a line out of a 1976 Johnny Mathis Christmas Song.

This woke bunch don’t have a problem with the song, except the one line. The song is ‘When A Child Is Born’. The line these woke folks have trouble with is during the interlude when Mr. Mathis says “And all this happens because the world is waiting- waiting for one child. Black, white, yellow, no one knows. But a child that would grow up and turn tears to laughter, hate to love, war to peace, and everyone to everyone’s neighbor. And misery and suffering will be words to be forgotten forever.”

Sounded beautiful to me, but the woke folks in the U.K. are up in arms over the word ‘yellow’ and some radio stations over there take that line out of the song. Lord love a duck! We’re going to have to save ourselves and let these woke folks start help groups to get over themselves.

On a different note, when I went out to feed the critters this morning, it was high winds and a wind chill of -40. It didn’t take me long to get all critters fed as I went out in my sleep pants and house slippers. Enjoy our Friday as Christmas is around the corner.

Another one

Starting today we’re going to see the winter storm of the decade like most in the mid-west. Snow, well below zero wind chills, and winds gusting up to around 50 mph. Time will tell. Everybody in the path of this ‘blizzard’ should get ready to hunker down and hope for the best. If power is lost due to the high winds, it could get ugly.

And yet, if we can hang on until next week, we should be back to fairly normal weather. By now you may have noticed the above picture is not of snow, but fog. Best we could do for the moment, we don’t have heat in the office and fingers get cold quickly. As happens, I was already outside this morning because I heard it only going to get colder from here, so I fed and watered the critters.

Some are complaining it’s going to be a frigid Christmas, but I say at least it’s going to be a white Christmas. Not sure what is going to happen, yet something is. It will be a Christmas to remember at any rate. Enjoy our Thursday.