Good weekend to cruise

It was looking like rain last night. While I was
watching the sky for any sign of moisture it just
suddenly went cloudless. That reminded me it was
cruising season and I haven’t listed many events
yet. Since tomorrow is the first day of May we
should get started.

Friday, May 1, there will be the car show at Dick-
N-Sons Lumber & Flower Shop in Blue Grass, Iowa. If
I remember correctly things get going around 6 pm
and it is a good little show.

Also Friday is the 3rd Magic Dragon Steet Meet
Nationals held at Bagell Dam Strip in Lake of the
Ozarks, Missouri.

This Friday and Saturday is Vintage Torquefest
2015 at the Dubuque County Fairgrounds in Dubuque,
Iowa. Fun show with traditional rods and customs,
bobbers, pin-ups, and a lot of rockabilly music.

Also Friday and Saturday, is the Spring 2015 Auto
Parts Swap Meet at the Iowa State Fairgrounds in
Des Moines, Iowa.

If you’d rather be racing, Cordova International
Raceway in Cordova, Illinois can help you out.

Friday, May 1 is Fun Night and gates open at 5 pm.
Saturday, May 2 is Spring Fun Day with open racing
for all and gates open at 10 am.
Sunday, May 3 is Battle of the High Schools
presented by KISS-FM and gates open at 10 am.

Sunday, May 3 is the J.C. Whitney Car Show at 761
Progress Parkway in LaSalle, Illinois. Show hours
are 9 am to 4 pm, the show is free, and 3D Sound
will handle the music and anouncements.

And those are just of few events that are going on
this weekend. We’re still checking our schedule to
see if we can make at least one of these events.
Enjoy the weekend, should be great weather for it
here.
Comments are always welcome.

The conundrum

Today started out good but got stranger as the day
went on. I awoke after a record breaking six hour
sleep loaded for bear and just as hungry. Ready to
mow and de-weed the entire neighborhood.

After a hearty breakfast that included 2 Snicker’s
bars and several cups of coffee the wife got home
from work and I laid out my game plan. But before I
went out to conquer our neighborhood I decided to
call our local burn/no burn number. Sure enough it
was a no burn day.

Since dry brush couldn’t be burned I got to
thinking, and after several more cups of coffee,
decided to at least mow. I had just grabbed the
keys to the shop to get the mower out when the
door bell rang and in walked dad.

So we had more coffee while talking about how much
groceries cost, where gas prices were going, mom,
and of all things- pussy willows. It seems my
sister is going to put some on mom’s grave.

I didn’t know if there was any signigicance to
doing such a thing, but after dad left I decided to
fire up the computer and find out. My search engine
could find no results for ‘pussy willows on grave’
because I have the family filter on.

I thought no problem I’ll just search for
‘willows’. That search found a lot of resturants,
hotels, and spas but no plants. We don’t know the
actual name for pussy willows because that’s what
we always called them.

So that’s where I’m at now and it looks like a
good thing I slept last night because I will find
something out about pussy willows. Even if it takes
all night. I’d start pulling my hair out but at my
age I’m losing it fast enough as it is.
Comments are always welcome.

Whimsical Wednesday

A friend shared this joke, it involves kids, and
it made us laugh. And now we’ll share it with you.

Barrack Obama was out jogging one morning along the
parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge
railing and landed in the creek below.

Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, 3
kids who were fishing pulled him out of the water.

He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever
they wanted.

The first kid said, ‘I want to go to Disney World
& Barrack said, ‘No problem, I’ll take you there on
Air Force One.’

The second kid said, ‘I want a new pair of Nike Air
Jordan shoes. Barrack said, ‘I’ll get them for you
and even have Michael Jordan sign them.’

The third kid said, ‘I want a motorized wheelchair
with a built in TV and stereo headset.’ Barrack was
a little perplexed by this and said, ‘You don’t look
like you’re handicapped.

The kid said, ‘I will be after my dad finds out I
saved your ass from drowning.’
—————————-
Enjoy your Wednesday.
Comments are always welcome.

The wife was laughing

While talking with the wife last night the subject
of my lack of hearing came up. She claimed it was
getting worse and that I was probably legally deaf.

I quickly set her straight with my version of the
facts and told her I couldn’t be deaf because I
don’t have to drive with dachshund in the front
seat. I explained that everyone knows those who
can’t hear have to have a hearing ear dog in the
front seat at all times in case of emergency.

After she quit laughing, and smelled my coffee for
alcohol I was again told I was crazy. The wife
knows how I lost the hearing in my one ear several
years ago. It involved a 1966 Cutlass, a case of
beer, a snubnose revolver, a two lane blacktop, and
a night in jail. I don’t miss those days but do miss
my hearing.

My good ear is getting worse because I’m getting
older. I explained to her it had nothing to do with
tuning engines with open headers, time at the
track, running various gas powered lawn equipment
without ear protection, or firing weapons without
ear protection.

Regardless of the cause for my hearing loss it is
the reason I don’t answer my cell phone when I have
it with me. I did answer when our son still lived
at home because he’d tell me it was ringing.

I may have dreamt the part about the dog, every
other thing mentioned is as true as I remember it.
Or my mind could be playing tricks on me again.
But it is based on a true story.
Comments are always welcome.

A new PC crowd

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately and have
come to the conclusion that the PC crowd may be on
to something. Before you judge me insane please let
me explain.

The current PC crowd appears to like using
initials for just about everything, having causes
up the ying yang, and have no solutions. So it is
in that manner, and on my own terms, that I shall
join the PC bunch.

In this case PC would stand for Priviledged
Caucasian and we could work toward the eradication
of the term “politically correct” and possibly
replace that with TSWL, or Thin Skinned Whiney
Losers.

Any terms used as scare tactics, such as Global
Warming or Climate Change, and meant for the sole
purpose of taxing average citizens for a non-
existing threat, would be banned from our language.

The group would also get on the GLBT bandwagon. In
our case that would mean Grrek Orthodox, Lutheran,
Baptist, and Theravada yet would include all other
religions except those who threaten to kill us.

The group would strictly adhere to the
Constitution and Bill of Rights, as written, and
require respect of our flag be a mandory
requirement for citizenship. If you wish to stomp
on it, burn it, or otherwise show disrespect we
would promptly fly you to another country and let
you have at their flag.

We would bring back freedom of speech to all, not
just the ruling elite. They will have to learn that
you cannot legislate beliefs. If we disagree with
you we don’t hate you or have to change our beliefs,
you have to change your attitude.

The by-laws would also state that you could do
whatever you wish as long as you didn’t believe
you had the right to try and force us to enbrace
it. We live in America and are allowed to be
different. We do not have to agree on everything.

That is a sampling of what I’ve been thinking. It
may not be politically correct, it may upset some,
but it is honest. We have to stop the nonsense.
Comments are always welcome.

Sunday snicker

The light turned yellow, just in front of him. He
did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk,
even though he could have beaten the red light by
accelerating through the intersection. The
tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn,
screaming in frustration, as she missed her chance
to get through the intersection, dropping her cell
phone and makeup.

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on
her window and looked up into the face of a very
serious police officer. The officer ordered her
to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to
the police station where she was searched,
fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a
holding cell.

After a couple of hours, a policeman approached
the cell and opened the door. She was escorted
back to the booking desk where the arresting
officer was waiting with her personal effects.
He said, “I’m very sorry for this mistake. You see,
I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing
your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you and
cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the ‘What
Would Jesus Do’ bumper sticker, the ‘Choose Life’
license plate holder, the ‘Follow Me to Sunday-
School’ bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated
Christian fish emblem on the trunk, so naturally….
I assumed you had stolen the car.”
—————————————-
Comments are always welcome.

Confusing technology

If you are a V-8 type of person who likes your
pipes loud and back tires wide, you may not
have heard of the new technology called VTEC.

VTEC stands for variable timing and lift electronic
control. Yes you guessed it, ten dollar scientific
jargon for a system that improves the efficiency of
a four-stroke internal combustion engine.

Invented by Honda engineer Ikua Kajitani it is a
brand new set up as the old set up, VVT or variable
valve timing, only advanced the valve timing. VTEC
also changes the camshaft profile and valve lift.
Since Japan taxes vehicles based on engine size
the car makers there try to squeeze more out of
less.

Hence the VTEC technology. This allows for one
engine to provide two profiles with one camshaft.
One profile best for low-RPM and fuel efficiency
and the other best for high RPM power output. But
it is still a small engine.

Which got us wondering what this mechanical marvel
sounded like. Would this set up have a throaty
roar, or a quiet whisper? And we found out. The
following video explains it all.

Thus concludes our unscientific, politically
incorrect look at VTEC technology. We will atone
for this lapse of cognitive thinking with a Sunday
snicker post and say three Hail Mary’s.

Comments are always welcome.

Checking it out

I recently mentioned a friend gave me a book by
Elbert Hubbard published in 1927. After perusing
the book I’ve come to the conclusion that if he
were alive today we would get along great.

Here are a few quotes from “The Notebook of Elbert
Hubbard”. These are from the Roycroft Dictionary.

Anarchist: Any man who wears his opinion pompadour.

College: A place where you have to go in order to
find out that there is nothing in it.

Divorce: One of the beneficient results of
marriage.

Devil: A god who has been bounced for conduct
unbecoming a gentleman.

Epitaph: 1. Postponed compliments. 2. Postmortem
bull con. 3. Qualifying for the Ananias Club.

Farmer: 1. A man who raises early feed for potato
bugs. 2. One who supplies raw stock for vaudeville
jokes. (Farms were first devised as an excuse for
the Agricultural Department at Washington).

Ingrate: Any person who has gotten something for
nothing, and wants more on the same terms.

Litigation: A form of hell whereby money is
transferred from the pockets of the proletariat to
that of lawyers.

Morality: The line of conduct that pays.

Nancy: A person of neither sex, who yet combines
the bad qualities of both.

Optimist: A man who does not care what happens, so
long as it doesn’t happen to him.

Public Opinion: The judgment of the incapable many
opposed to that of the discerning few.

Sanity: The ability to do team work.

Vacation: A period of increased and pleasurable
activity when your wife is at the seashore.

Villager: Any man laboring under the illusion that
he is very wise and infinitely clever.

Wit: The the thing that fractures many a
friendship.

Work: A plan of God to circumvent the Devil.

And those are a few pearls of wisdom from the pen
of Elbert Hubbard. We’ll add but one more.

Our admiration is so given to dead martyrs that we
have little time for living heroes.
———————————–
Comments are always welcome.

Morons, a Corvette, a backhoe, and Hot Rod

In our never ending quest to enrich our education
we cruise the information highway, check emails
from friends, and chase down leads. What results is
a post like this.

We like parody songs and this one shared by a
friend had us both laughing and saying “ouch!”
So turn the speakers up and enjoy “That’s A Moron”.

Something about a blown big black breathing though
open pipes in an enclosed space that gets our motor
revving. This one isn’t funny, but the car is
insane. Mile deep paint and big wheels and tires
combined with the engine song.

Did you know that in 2007 at the Rocky Mountain
Nationals in Canada that they had a dragster
backhoe running? Those guys up in Edmonton sure
know how to have fun. And it’s probably quicker
than you think.

And thank made us think of music again. Remember
the Collins Kids? Here they are singing “Hot Rot”
on Western Ranch Party in 1958.

We don’t know about you, but we felt smarter after
watching these videos. If you’re in our area on May
1st and 2nd, remember the Vintage Torque Fest held
at the Dubuque County Fairgrounds in Dubuque, Iowa.
Comments are always welcome.

Common folk scam

Perhaps you remember this photo from Rueters of
Hillary’s chat with the common folk in the town of
Le Claire, Iowa.

And by now you’ve heard it was a set up and people
at her table were posers. We’re told they were an
Obama intern, the College Democrats President, and
a Planned Parenthood employee delivered to the chat
by Clinton’s Iowa political director Troy Price.

We received news from a friend that not only the
chat, but the entire scene was a set up. The Secret
Service banned entrance to the coffee shop to all
except those involved.

So what looks like a nice normal day in a small
town coffee shop it not what it seems. On the left
in picture are 2 two people, at least one of which
is a fireman or policeman. The couple seated behind
the chat group is the Mayor of Le Claire and his
wife.

All this from the candidate who wants to reassure
us common folk that she knows how we feel? During a
Hillary visit you can smell the bull being shipped.

A thank you to the friend who passed us the real
deal.
Comments are always welcome.