Sunday snicker

A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor.

The doctor says, “Okay, Mrs. Jones, what’s the problem?”

The mother says, “It’s my daughter Darla. She keeps
getting these cravings, she’s putting on weight, and is
sick most mornings.”

The doctor gives Darla a good examination, then turns to
the mother and says, “Well, I don’t know how to tell you
this, but your Darla is pregnant – about 4 months, would
be my guess.”

The mother says, “Pregnant?! She can’t be, she has never
ever been left alone with a man! Have you, Darla?”

Darla says, “No mother! I’ve never even kissed a man!”

The doctor walked over to the window and just stares out
of it.

About five minutes pass and finally the mother says, “Is
there something wrong out there doctor?”

The doctor replies, “No, not really, it’s just that the
last time anything like this happened, a star appeared in
the east and three wise men came over the hill. I’ll be
darned if I’m going to miss it this time!”

Just a thought

Sunday is the first day of the month of May which was
named for the Roman goddess Maia, who was in charge of
the growth of plants. On May 1st, May Day, people used
to crown the May queen, dance around maypoles, and
celebrate the rebirth of spring.

Some early settlers would make May baskets filled with
flowers and/or treats to leave on a neighbors doorstep.
Said gift giver would place the basket then ring the
door bell and run. The recipient of said basket would
then try to catch the gift giver, and if the giver was
caught, a kiss ensued.

America has seen many things happen on May 1st, which
some call the real Labor Day and customs have changed.
Today May Day is seen more as a day of protests aimed
at immigration reform. Most of the old practices have
gone the way of the buggy whip and we often wonder if
that is a good thing.

I’m sure that in today’s politically correct society
someone would be offended by such and idea and deem the
practice racist, sexist, or elitist. At any rate, we
hope you enjoy our upcoming May Day.
Comments are always welcome.

Have you ever?

Went to do something and get sidetracked. I headed for
the garage to straighten up and get ready for some
serious yard work tomorrow when I ran into this critter
who wanted to know what was going on.

Not wanting to seem like a snob I filled the critter in
on a few things happening in our area. So here they are.

Now through Sunday the B-17 Aluminum Overcast tour will
be at the Davenport Airport. They are taking the
restored B-17 Flying Fortress on a tour around the USA
and we’re on the list. You can go here to learn more.

Vintage Torquefest will be in Dubuque, Iowa today through
Saturday. This is a traditional show and held rain or
shine. You can learn more on the website.

Friday night, April 29th will be the Classy Chassy
Cruisers Cruise In held at the Coral Ridge Mall near
Best Buy. I believe this starts around 6 pm.

Sunday will be the 32nd Annual Spring Auto Parts Swap
Meet and Car Corral at the Jones County Fairgrounds in
Monticello, Iowa.

Not sure if we’ll make any of these events as it might
rain and I don’t care to see if I melt when I get wet.
Also there are many more events but as mentioned these
are a few that interest us. Enjoy the upcoming weekend.
Comments are always welcome.

Rainy day dreaming

Today is going to be one of those gray, soggy days here
on the east coast of Iowa so we will be busy working
inside on the things put off until the rainy day occurs.
So we’ll just put up a few photos for you to enjoy until
the chores are done.

A buddy and myself went to a cruise-in over the weekend
and drooled over about 370 vehicles that were entered.
This is a picture from that event.

When it gets dark, if the rain isn’t falling, the sky
has been putting on a show also. Almost like living in
God’s country.

Sometimes we seem blessed before the sun goes down too.
We may live in a world getting crazier by the day, but
when we can look to the heavens and see sights like
this we feel better.

The rainy days help bring out colors and contrasts that
are hard to describe yet easy to look at.

We’ll close with one of my favorites. I can’t explain
why I like it but I do. All pictures posted can be
enlarged by clicking on them.

That ends this photographic walk down memory lane
and get to the business at hand. Have a great day,
I know we will.
Comments are always welcome.

Hump Day Eve humor

When you’re from the farm, your perception is a little
bit different.

A farmer drove to a neighbor’s farmhouse and knocked at
the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door. “Is your dad
or mom home?” said the farmer.

“No, they went to town.”

“How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?”

“No, he went with Mom and Dad.”

The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting
from one foot to the other, mumbling to himself, when
the young boy says, “I know where all the tools are,
if you want to borrow one, or I can give Dad a message.”

“Well,” said the farmer uncomfortably. “No, I really
want to talk to your Dad, about your brother Howard
getting my daughter Suzy pregnant”.

The boy thought for a moment, then says, “You’ll have to
talk to my Dad about that. I know he charges $500 for the
bulls and $150 for the pigs, but I have no idea how much
he charges for Howard.”
———————————-
Comments are always welcome.

Not again

You may remember a while back I related a tale about
the moon getting caught in our pine tree? Well we had
another problem with said moon.

Yes it caused issues again. This time it chose to get
hung up on the telephone wires that run across our yard.
With my lightning fast reflexes I took this photo just
before said wire fell to the ground!

I didn’t realize the moon got that hot but I’ve been
told we learn something new everyday. I also didn’t
think the moon got that close to us, but the photographic
proof if hard to argue.

I was assured by the Telephone Company that the hanging
wires aren’t dangerous as they only carry a small amount
of electricity through them. In any case yard work has
been cancelled until the situation is rectified.

If you’re a night owl or an early riser you may want to
look outside for this potential danger. Looking up is
better than looking down. Unless you’re standing on the
edge of a cliff.

This tale was loosely based on a true story and
the moon was not harmed during this photo shoot.
So enjoy your day as I know I will puttering around
the garage.
Comments are always welcome.

Bonus Sunday snicker

Confession

“Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a
loose girl.”

The priest asks, “Is that you, little Joey Pagano?”

“Yes, Father, it is.”

“And who was the girl you were with?”

“I can’t tell you, Father. I don’t want to ruin her
reputation.”

“Well, Joey, I’m sure to find out her name sooner or
later so you may as well tell me now.
Was it Tina Minetti?”

“I cannot say.”

“Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?”

“I’ll never tell.”

“Was it Nina Capelli?”

“I’m sorry, but I cannot name her.”

“Was it Cathy Piriano?”

“My lips are sealed.”

“Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?”

“Please, Father! I cannot tell you.”

The priest sighs in frustration. “You’re very tight lipped,
and I admire that. But you’ve sinned and have to atone.
You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go
and behave yourself.”

Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides
over and whispers, “What’d you get?”

“Four months vacation and five good leads.”

Sunday snicker

God said, ‘Adam, I want you to do Something for Me.’

Adam said, ‘Gladly,Lord, what do You Want me to do?

God said, ‘Go down into that valley.’

Adam said, ‘What’s a Valley?’

God explained it to Him. Then God said, ‘Cross the river.’

Adam said, ‘What’s a River?’

God explained that to him, and then said, ‘Go over to the hill….’

Adam said, ‘What is a Hill?’

So, God explained to Adam what a hill was.

He told Adam, ‘On the other side of the Hill you will find a Cave.’

Adam said, ‘What’s a Cave?’

After God explained, He said, ‘In the cave You will find a woman.’

Adam said, ‘What’s a Woman?’

So God explained that to him, too. Then, God said, ‘I
want you to reproduce.’

Adam said, ‘How do I do that?’

God first said (under his breath), Geez…..’

And then, just like Everything else, God explained that to Adam,
as well.

So, Adam goes down Into the valley, Across the river,
and Over the hill, into the Cave, and finds the Woman.

Then, in about five Minutes, he was back.

God, His patience wearing thin, said Angrily, ‘What is
it now?’

And Adam said….

*

*
(YOU’RE GOING TO
LOVE THIS!!!!!!)

*

*

‘What’s a headache?’
——————————-
Comments are always welcome.

Some days

Due to circumstances beyond our control we were not
able to get a good picture of the full moon. It just
wasn’t visible at the optimal photographic moment. A
storm rolled in earlier and dumped some rain on us.

The rain did go away and things did clear up, which
was a mixed blessing because after the rain the birds
came out in force looking for the elusive soggy
earthworm or whatever they hop around looking for.

When the moon finally did poke through the clouds it
looked almost as bright as the sun and I could almost
read a book in the moon light. I tried different lenses
and settings on the camera yet this was the best shot.

Today and tonight it’s supposed to partly cloudy so I
will be out later to try my luck. I have figured out the
problem, and it is me. I know just enough to be harmful
to the camera yet impulsive enough to try harder anyway.

Since I don’t plan on changing either of these
characteristics I shall rely on luck. If that doesn’t
pull me through, I will read the manual. Just remember;
some days we’re the windshield, some days we’re the
bug.
Have a great day
Comments are always welcome.

Based on a true story

After 4 hours of organized feline fighting and
delusional dreams I decided to rise and face the day
only to realize it was 3 am. The wife’s cats decided to
have a mixed martial arts bout almost on top of me and
after I got them separated and calmed down I fell
asleep.

I dreamed we went to pick up the kids at school in a
54′ Chevy with a hopped up stove-bolt and dual exhaust
only to end up in jail with the kids. Minutes after
being booked we were taken in front of a judge and tried
by a jury of clowns in costume who dismissed all
charges. And then it got strange. But I digress.

While pondering the dream and having a few cups of
coffee I wondered if birds got married. I read somewhere
they mated for life, so why not marriage. When I sorted
through some pictures I took yesterday I had my answer.

This picture represents when the couple first meet. The
male dances around the female while the female acts as
if she’s not interested but never breaks eye contact
with the male.

In the second stage, and still single, the male resorts
to grasping feathers or other objects in his beak to
keep the attention of the female as they continue to
stare at each other.

In the final stage after the kids have flown the coop
and they are left with an empty nest, things change. The
male is still dancing around with things in his beak
and dancing ever closer to his mate who now appears less
than interested and eye contact is lost.

Of course I haven’t figured out how all this happens in
a matter of minutes and have no scientific proof this
is true but the pictures tell the tale.
Comments are always welcome