Sunday snicker

May 28, 2016

2birds

In a small rural county there were 4 churches and a
Synaggogue. All became infested with squirrels and
something had to be done. So…….

The Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what
to do about their squirrels. After much prayer and
consideration, they determined the squirrels were
predestined to be there and they shouldn’t interfere
with God’s divine will.

At the Baptist Church the squirrels had taken an interest
in the baptistery. The Deacons met and decided to put a
water slide on the baptistery and let the squirrels drown
themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and unfortunately,
knew instinctively how to swim so twice as many squirrels
showed up the following week.

The Episcopal Church decided that they were not in a position
to harm any of God’s creatures. So, they humanely trapped
their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist Church.
Two weeks later the squirrels were back when the Baptists
took down the water slide.

But the Catholic Church came up with a very creative strategy.
They baptized all the squirrels and consecrated them as
members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas
and Easter.

Not much was heard from the Jewish Synagogue, but it’s rumored
that they took one squirrel and circumcised him. They haven’t
seen a squirrel on their property since.


Memorial Day

May 28, 2016

The weekend has begun and will end with Memorial Day on
Monday. So we thought we’d drop another reminder to
remember the difference.

1rtd

Thank you and enjoy the holiday.


Law of averages

May 27, 2016

Yesterday I mowed the lawn, trimmed some bushes,
bundled brush, chopped some wood, and took a few
pictures. I saw the blue jay in the picture below
and I chuckled as I wondered if he knew about the
Angry Birds game.

a 023

When I returned to the air-conditioned comfort of our
humble abode my back decided to go out. It wasn’t bad
enough I needed the wife’s help getting my jeans on or
off, but it was a doozy.

Today is a better a day and except for a few spasms I
think I’m good to go. As long as I don’t have to bend
down, reach up, or lift anything. A small price to pay
for over doing it.

Because of said back problems I didn’t go upstairs and
wake the wife up for work. When she got downstairs she
about chewed me a new one. She stated when I don’t get
her up she envisions me collapsed on the floor unable to
move, even though that has never happened.

She knows my thoughts on the subject. A visit to the
doctor is a last resort. And where does the law of
averages fit into the picture you ask? Well, it has been
a while since this has happened and even though I can’t
finish the yard work it is raining as I write this.

I’ll take that trade off anytime and will have a plan B
for when the rain stops. While we’re waiting the wife and
I can stay inside comfy as two doves on a roof.

a 006

So it all works out in the end if you have the patience
to see it through. Whatever you do, do not say “it can’t
get any worse”. Even though God has a sense of humor he
does like a challenge.
Comments are always welcome.


Idle critters

May 26, 2016

Have you ever wondered if there are any unemployed
critters? Birds always appear to be hunting for food or
nest building material, squirrels are hiding their food
to get them through the winter, bees are pollinating the
flowers, and even the groundhogs seem to look for the
perfect snack.

032

The cardinal looked pretty relaxed to me and I thought
perhaps he was on vacation or took a casual day. Then he
flew off in search of whatever it is they search for.
About that time a squirrel waltzed by with what looked
like a walnut in his mouth.

022

He was on a mission to bury said nut and scamper off
to find another. And all the critters I came across
yesterday were going about their business seemingly
without rest. Thus, the unemployed critter thought.

They don’t go to school, don’t have a government that
we know of, or means of measuring wealth. The one
obvious upside if they keep busy is that they eat and
are healthy.

There are scavengers of course who dine on the effort
of others, but for the most part it looks to me as if
there are no lazy animals. This planet we live on is a
pretty amazing place. All we have to do is look around
us, and I thank God that I now have a little time to do
so.

You may not believe in God, and that is your choice,
but we think he gave us a great place to experience
while we’re here. It may not seem that wonderful to
some but it is the only place we got.
Comments are always welcome.


What if?

May 25, 2016

001

This picture makes me smile. Not the best I ever took
or professional looking, but I like it. The picture
reminds of a long-time friend and his visits. Every time
he stops over I know two things will happen; he’ll drive
the wife nuts and he’ll ask the same questions he always
does.

One of those questions is always ‘If you had your life
to live over would you change anything?’ And I always
reply ‘no because you can’t change it’. Much like the
picture, the small bird on the wire is in focus yet the
larger bird swooping in isn’t.

That’s because the other bird wasn’t in the frame when
I focused. If the bigger bird would have been in the
frame both birds would have been gone by the time I
refocused and I would have a totally different shot.

The other question is ‘If you could have kept every car
you ever owned, would you?’ That would be another no.
Having owned over 150 vehicles I would need a farm to
store them at. Not to mention that many license plates,
insurance policies, and maintenance.

They all brought a smile to my face for various reasons.
Most were loud, fast, and would pass anything but a gas
station while the rest were customs that just looked good
cruising the town. Some were sold before I even knew they
were for sale.

I remember a yellow coupe that the paint had barely
dried on when a guy stepped up and told me he was going
to buy it. After explaining that I had just finished it
and it wasn’t for sale the guy offered so much cash he
ended up owning it.

Sometimes we just have to let go. If we can’t change
it, why fight it. I sleep soundly not sweating the
what ifs. Keep the shiny side up.
Comments are always welcome.


Lazy days

May 24, 2016

Some days are just made for goofing off. We don’t
always know which day we’ll get but we know it when it
happens. And it doesn’t always have to do with the
weather either.

I was all set to hit it hard today until today got here.
All was set, preparations made, and plans for every task
to be done. I stepped outside and saw a bird flying by,
snapped a picture, and the plans changed.

010

It is a little windy here on the east coast of Iowa and
rain is in the forecast, but the birds didn’t get the
memo. Even the robin in the picture below was zipping
around like he lost his house keys and was trying to
find them.

046

So the day is half over and I have yet to finish a
project. I have been thinking real hard about when
to get started though.

I did make it over to visit Dad and we had a nice chat.
He started by saying he just didn’t feel like doing much
today and since he’s going to be 91 soon I told him he
earned the right to a slow day. So he replied that after
I left he would take a nap before lunch. At least he has
a plan he can stick to.

Nothing to worry about though because I’ll just change
the date on the plans and do them another day. So if
you plans got scrapped enjoy the day anyway. I know we’re
going to.
Comments are always welcome.


Losing it

May 23, 2016

Lost all track of time yesterday but got a lot of work
done. It was one of those perfect spring days with the
blue skies and plenty of sun. Not that some didn’t try
to ruin it.

a 015

Yes, even though it wasn’t that hot it seemed like all
the critters had problems. Even the feral cat had an
attitude and stuck his tongue out at me before putting
his tail in the air and scampering off.

b 005

It was almost as if he thought I couldn’t run to get
him. While I am a skinny, older redneck, I can run
pretty good for about 10 feet!

And the cat wasn’t alone. Even the pigeons got into the
act. They landed on a neighboring roof and waited to see
if I would wash the wife’s car so they could dive bomb
it when I was done and leave us another multi-colored
present on the hood.

a 006

But I fooled them because the car didn’t get washed! We
did get a lot of brush removed, bundled, and ready for
disposal tomorrow. Even though I drank several glasses
of lemonade it all went into soaking my shirt instead of
slacking my thirst.

Today looks to be more of the same in the never ending
quest to keep ahead of the weeds, small trees, and
felonious critters. We should now be back to regular
posting as too many days like yesterday and I’d be in
need of paramedics and a floor jack.

Enjoy the day, it’s the only one we get.
Comments are always welcome.


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