Sunday snicker

February 25, 2017

This is an older one and I may have posted it before, but the
wife sent it to me and it still made me smile.

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The Sunday School lesson for the first graders was on the plan of salvation. The teacher asked, “If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale, and gave all my money to the church, would I get into heaven?”

“No!” all the children answered.

“If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?”

Again, the answer was, “No!”

“Well,” she continued, “then how can I get to heaven?”

One boy confidently answered, “You’ve gotta be dead!”


Pet peeves

February 24, 2017

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I’ve mentioned a few of my pet peeves in earlier posts and
thought it time to mention a few more. Some involve my dislike
of putting any of my business out in the street while still
others have to do with my inability to deal with stupid
people.

Not long ago our tax preparers called to inform us our taxes
were done and that they would need out driver’s license
number, date of issue, and date of expiration as they couldn’t
file our taxes without them. The IRS wants to cut down on
identity theft? How about catching the criminals stealing
the checks instead of putting the burden on us.

And we know the clerks in grocery stores work hard, are told
by management what to say, and could lose their job if they
don’t do as told, but around here is a greeting that drives me
buggy. As we put our groceries on the belt the cashier always
asks “Did you find everything okay?”

We smile and reply yes but I really want to say that I didn’t
find the 2x6s or an HEI coil! It’s a grocery store, the cart
was full of groceries; what could we have possibly missed? It
can get as aggravating as looking for 22 LR ammo.

My final pet peeve concerns auto parts stores when you have a
modified vehicle. I get so tired of hearing “that car didn’t
have that option”. Really? A 1948 Chevy Fleetmaster didn’t
leave the factory with a small block V-8 in it?

I feel much better now, have stocked up on pizza again, and
need to refill my coffee as I’m a quart low. We’re going to
get a little snow today but some of Iowa is going to get a
foot. So enjoy our Friday, the Monticello indoor car show
starts tomorrow and Sunday is the Daytona 500.
Comments are always welcome.


A little humor

February 23, 2017

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Since today is looking to be a grey, rainy day, we thought it
time to share some Iowa humor we found online. Not sure of the
original author so we hope they don’t mind.
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Letter to son from Iowa mom

I’m writing this real slow cause I know you can’t read very
fast.

We don’t live where we did when you left. Your daddy read in
the paper that most accidents happen within 20 minutes of
home, so we moved.

I won’t be able to send you the address because the last Iowa
family that lived here took the numbers off the house with
them for their next house so they wouldn’t have to change
their address.

This place has a washing machine. The first day I put your
shirts in, pulled the chain, and I ain’t seen ’em since.

It only rained twice this week. Three days the first time
and four days the second time.

You know that coat you wanted me to send you? Well, Aunt
Hilda said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the
buttons on it so we cut them off and put them in the pocket.

We got a letter from the funeral home. They said if we don’t
make the last payment on Grandma’s funeral bill, up she comes.

Your sister had a baby this morning. I ain’t heard if it’s a
boy or a girl, so I don’t know if you’re an uncle or an aunt.

Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried to
pull him out, but he fought them off, so he drowned. We
cremated him and he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pick-up. One
was driving, the other two was in the back. The driver got
out. He rolled the window down and swam to safety. The other
two drowned. They couldn’t get the tailgate down.

Love, Ma
———————————–
Comments are always welcome.


Of great days

February 22, 2017

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We are just ending up another record breaking, picture
perfect day here on the east coast of Iowa. Seen all kinds of
critters and the tulips are popping out of the ground. From
what we hear though, tomorrow is another day, and will be
around 20 degrees cooler working its way to Saturday when snow
is in the forecast.

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Even our friendly neighborhood hawk put in an appearance
looking for new friends. Even the wifes’ cat caught the spring
fever. She didn’t get ambitious or anything, just got caught up
in the great weather.

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We even spotted our first robin of the year. He didn’t look
like a happy camper sitting atop the neighbors roof waiting
for the southerly winds to die down. It was breezy.

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I knew it must have been a great day as the wife even came
outside a couple times and I didn’t even have a phone call.
The days of highs in the 70s are behind us now until later in
the year but it was sure fun enjoying it while it lasted.

The way things are going I may go out and get some pictures
of the stars. The night sky will be clear, the winds should
die down, and if I wait long enough I know it will get dark.
We even had a healthy supper of fish with wild rice and
vegetables. I’m stocking up on pizza Friday.

So enjoy the rest of today, we hope you had a great one also.
Comments are always welcome.


Amazing hoax

February 21, 2017

hard

On this date in 1948 the town of Manning, Iowa, had a prank
pulled on Main Street that was amazingly stupid. It was
witnessed by 3 people and did result in 5 arrests. Manning was
a town with 1800 residents in Carroll County.

On a quiet Sunday evening the only people on the sidewalk of
Main Street were Ralph Geith and Bud Hargens. The lone car
driving by when the prank went down was driven by Hubert Lamp.

Out of nowhere a man came running down the sidewalk on the
opposite side of the street chased by 2 other men. At a
distance the three witnesses guessed to be 20 feet one the
guys chasing the first fired a shotgun at the runner 3 times.

The “victim” fell to the street and lay still. Right about
then two other males in 1947 Mercury raced out of a nearby
alley and loaded the “victim” into the car and roared away.
The license plates on the Merc were hidden. Of course the
witnesses were shocked.

The very next afternoon, Sheriff Thomas J. Finegan announced
the arrest of 5 high school boys, who were 16 years old, at a
nearby high school. Turns out the kids were just looking to
put some excitement in a dull Sunday afternoon.

On March 11th, 1948, all five pleaded guilty to concealing
license plates, paid a $50 fine, and swore they would never
do it again. We don’t know if Justice of the Peace Hilda Osten
believed them or not.

And that is the amazingly stupid prank that happened on this
date all those years ago. Come to think of it, I haven’t heard of
any copycat pranks so perhaps the boys kept their word. Enjoy
the day as tomorrow we’re halfway to the weekend.
Comments are always welcome.


Of strange dreams

February 20, 2017

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I have to stop eating spicy foods before going to bed. I had a
dozen tacos, brushed my teeth, laid down and quickly drifted
off to dreamland. While the dreams are not rare this one was
a doozy.

In the dream the wife and I were in Idaho visiting our
youngest and his wife. We were at some fancy roaring 20s looking
hotel amidst several people dressed in period correct garb.
What didn’t fit was that the lobby had a hot tub smack dab in
the middle with nude people using it and getting their pictures
taken.

Then for some odd reason our son and myself went to find a
bathroom. Well, that’s where it got strange. For some reason
we ended up in the 2nd basement and after I lost sight of him
I turned a corner and ended up outside a church in northeast
Iowa. So, not knowing exactly where I was or how I got there,
I walked around until I found a bus depot.

There I purchased a ticket home thinking a call to Idaho once
I returned home would clear things up. And no, I don’t know
why I just didn’t use the phone in the bus depot. Around 3
hours later I was downtown in our hometown. So after a walk
up the hill I arrived home to find I didn’t have my house keys
on me.

I broke out a window to get in and replaced the broken one
with a good one just in time to hear Police cars screeching
to halt with sirens blaring. That was when I found out I had
no billfold and it must have went somewhere with the keys.

On the bright side, I did get to talk to the wife and our
son, from jail. Of course using my phone call to contact them
meant I stayed in jail until the hearing. And when it was over
we all laughed, except the wife. She wanted to know how I got
back to Iowa so fast.

Tonight, it’s midnight pizza. Those tacos were trying to tell
me something and I’m not pushing my luck. Enjoy our Monday,
it’s the first one of the work week.
Comments are always welcome.


February 19, 2017

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Our weekend is almost done. That doesn’t surprise us because
here the weather weather was perfect so we had a lot of things
to do and not enough time to get them done. Still working on
that.

Now the weather guessers on TV are talking possible snow for
next weekend. I think we should vote on just keeping the high
temperatures in the 70s instead. But it is still winter so we’ll
take whatever we get.

In an earlier post I stated we would not be watching NASCAR
this year with all the rule changes. But we did watch the
challenge at Daytona today and if that is what the rest of
the racing season will be like, we’ll go back to drag racing.

Having glanced at the rules we knew there would be a “break”
somewhere in the race and that happened at lap 25. What we
didn’t expect was the rule that if your car has to go to the
garage you are out of the race.

We could not make any sense out of that one. If your crew
gets it back together and the race is still on you should be
able to get back in. I see a lot more DNFs (did not finish)
under the race results. It just doesn’t make sense.

With the Nationals coming back to Cordova, and the indoor car
show in Monticello this weekend, we may be there instead of
watching NASCAR. We’ll see. Hoping you had a great weekend and
are ready for Monday. Now I’m hungry for tacos and will round
up eight or ten.
Comments are always welcome.