Almost a Sunday snicker

October 31, 2015

We say almost because this installment isn’t funny. But
we think you’ll like it anyway.

st_peter

A old cowboy went to a barbershop to have his hair
cut and his beard trimmed. As the barber began to
work, they began to have a good conversation. They
talked about so many things and various subjects.
When they eventually touched on the subject of God,
the barber said: “I don’t believe that God exists.”

“Why do you say that?” asked the cowboy.

“Well, you just have to go out in the street to
realize that God doesn’t exist. Tell me, if God
exists, would there be so many sick people? Would
there be abandoned children? If God existed, there
would be neither suffering nor pain. I can’t
imagine a loving God who would allow all of these
things.”

The cowboy thought for a moment, but didn’t respond
because he didn’t want to start an argument. The
barber finished his job and the cowboy left the shop.
Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the
street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed
beard. He looked dirty and unkempt.

The cowboy turned back and entered the barber shop
again and he said to the barber: “You know what?
Barbers do not exist.”

“How can you say that?” asked the surprised barber.
“I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on
you!

“No!” the cowboy exclaimed. “Barbers don’t exist
because if they did, there would be no people with
dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man
outside.”

“Ah, but barbers DO exist! What happens, is people
do not come to me.”

“Exactly!”- affirmed the cowboy. “That’s the point!
God, too, DOES exist! What happens, is, people don’t
go to Him and do not look for Him. That’s why there’s
so much pain and suffering in the world.”
———————————————
Comments are always welcome.


Yesterday…

October 31, 2015

stovebolt

I had intended to do a post but as happens, life
got in the way. The day started out like any other
but after the errands were run, and the groceries
put away, the day slipped by.

It got to the point I wanted to dig the paper out
of the recycle bin to see if I missed my obituary.
And it all started when a friend stopped by for a
pot of coffee and a chat.

Before we knew it hours had slipped by, the coffee
pot was smoking from overuse, and if somebody had
bugged the kitchen we could have been arrested if
it wasn’t for the statute of limitations. At some
point my friend again asked if I had a picture of
my yellow coupe. I don’t.

From there he named off former vehicles of mine
he remembered and the walk down memory lane was
enjoyable. That friend had just left when the
doorbell rang again and I opened the door to find
another friend on the doorstep.

So we talked. Once again time slipped away and
before I knew it the wife was getting ready to go
work. So I watched a little TV and realized it was
9 pm and I hadn’t had lunch yet. Pizza rectified
the hunger but also dulled the mind.

I traveled back to a time I was a young, skinny
redneck kid waxing a yellow coupe and using chrome
polish on three air cleaners to get my ride ready
for a cruise with an ear to ear grin. People would
often comment that they had seen my cruising around,
grinning like I’d won the jackpot and wonder why.

Most of us have a hobby that makes us happy mine
just happens to be playing with cars. We hope you
have one that can put a smile on your face while
others are frowning.
Comments are always welcome.


Did you know?

October 29, 2015

kia

In today’s high-tech, fast paced lifestyle, we wonder
how many of us remember these facts. Some we learned
in school and others came from research. So did you
know….

Al Capone’s business card said he was a used furniture dealer.

If you are an average American, in your whole life, you will spend an average of 6 months waiting at red lights.

On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building is an American flag.

All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.

A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.

There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

Babies are born without kneecaps. They don’t appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue.

A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds. Dogs only have about 10.

Almonds are a member of the peach family.

Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.

There’s no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewables Vitamins.
——————-
If you didn’t know before, you can now amaze
your friends and loved ones with your knowledge
of these facts.
Comments are always welcome.


It’s confusing

October 28, 2015

look

In April I’ll turn 65 and that seems to make me
very popular lately. I get junk mail and phone
calls daily from companies that want to help me
sort through the chaos of filing for Medicare.

The junk mail goes in the recycle bin and phone
calls get hung up on, if answered at all. Anybody
who claims the government is there to help the
people should have to sort the mess that they call
“enrollment”.

Talking heads from different insurance companies
claim I can sign up during open enrollment that
runs through the first part of December and
coverage would start in January.

Online, one site says I can sign up for both
social security and medicare 3 months prior to my
65th birthday. October is not 3 months before my
birthday.

Another site says social security may
automatically sign me up and send the information
to me 3 months prior to my birthday. That site
also says medicare enrollment may be automatic and
I’d be notified 3 months before my birthday.

One site claimed that medicare is free to some
and that is automatically decided. Most agree that
one can sign up online, or go directly to the
social security office. Some say they would help
with filing if one enrolls in a medicare advantage
program through their company.

I read into all this that I have to wait until 3
months before my birthday to do much and it will
either be free or taken out of my account each
month if it wasn’t predetermined automatically at
an earlier date.

At any rate, I have some time to figure out the
facts and others are going through the same thing.
On a positive note, I still have my sanity and
don’t have a headache.

As we say in Iowa; if you don’t like the weather
hang around, it’ll change.
Comments are always welcome.


Reasoning with the Antique Farmer

October 27, 2015

IMG

I went over to visit Dad and we talked of those
who are longer with us, family, the farm, the
upcoming trip the wife and I are taking, and the
recent WHO declaration against bacon.

We got passed the deaths, the health of our
family, and our vacation alright, but the Antique
Farmer got animated when it come to learning that
the WHO declared processed meats and red meat are
as cancerous as smoking.

The minute it was out of my mouth I heard ‘bullshit!’
I reminded him not to shoot the messenger so he
said he’d been eating meat all his life and he is
90 years old. Then he asked what would happen to
all the hogs and cattle if people didn’t eat them.

I admitted I didn’t know and he asked me what I’d
been hearing about it. Reminding him everything is
a rumor at this point I told him one someone
would want to tax meat like they tax cigarettes. The
Antique Farmer said everything is too high now.

So I told him that another rumor is that the
government wouldn’t allow restaraunts to sell meat.
The look on his face was priceless before he asked
‘then who the hell would go out to eat?’

Saving what I thought was the best for last, I told
him that some scientists think animal farts add to
the pollution that is causing global warming. And
I again heard ‘bullshit!’

He thought for a bit and said that nobody was
taking his meat away in his lifetime. I swear
the man forgets he’s 90.

Not wanting to leave him in a snit I brought up
the farm and the wooden bridge over the creek that
groaned like a banshee when you ran a tractor over
it. He was calm when I left and I’d guess he was
daydreaming about running the old tractor over that
sorry looking bridge. But he still isn’t going to
give up his meat!
Comments are always welcome.


Trouble in paradise

October 26, 2015

1c

Here on the east coast of Iowa people are
collectively shaking their heads about recent
unrelated incidents. We’ll explain.

It all started the other day when one bank was
robbed and there was an attempted robbery at yet
another bank. Then came news of a fatality caused
by street racing, which was followed by shots being
fired in a building that also housed the Marine
Corps recruiting station, then the death of a
shooter in a different location.

We have heard no updates concerning the bank
robberies but the investigation is ongoing. We do
believe when people get desparate bank robberies
occur.

Although reports of several shots fired inside an
office we are happy to say that nobody got shot.
Police don’t know if the shooter who committed
suicide is connected to the shooting near the
recruiting office and we won’t speculate.

After the street racing incident, which took place
on busy street around 4 pm and killed an innocent
woman in another vehicle, our Alderman got face
time on TV. His answer?

Make downtown all two-way streets and lower the
speed limit! If it wasn’t right before the city
elections it would be laughable.

Is there something in our drinking water? Did
these people just go crazier than an outhouse rat
at the same time? Was it the news that the WHO now
says bacon causes cancer? We don’t pretend to know
and refuse to speculate.

Thank you Davenport and Bettendorf police for your
fast response.
Comments are always welcome.


Let’s eliminate the lies

October 25, 2015

2

If we heard correctly a woman, who may or may not
have been drinking, ran her car into a homecoming
crowd at a college in Oklahoma. Doing so she
killed a 23 year student, a married 65 year old
couple, a 2 year child, and injured dozens.

Yet this incident didn’t get the coverage that the
overdose in a whore house got? And there were no
protests, no demands for ‘car control’, no
preachers saying not one more like after other
deaths.. Just grief and disbelief.

Nobody demanded tougher registration for cars or
that breatalizers be installed in all vehicles. Nor
did anyone suggest tougher laws to make said cars
safer. No riots broke out and no businesses burned.
Just grief and disbelief.

We know what it would be like if the woman had
opened fire with a gun. Yet all those talking heads
who demand more gun control forget a few things.
The government would make the laws for tougher gun
laws. Good you say?

The same government who passed a law making some
drugs illegal and declared a war on said drugs?
Unless a miracle happened and we haven’t heard of
it yet, our country still has a drug problem.

Our government also declared a war on poverty yet
we have more people on welfare than ever before.
while the workforce that pays for that welfare is
shrinking. Could the government be wrong?

In 2011, 9,878 people were killed by drunk drivers
That year 1,140 children under the age of 14 were
killed by drunk drivers.

In 2011, 8.583 people were killed with a firearm.
That number represented .34% of all deaths that
year.

We don’t need the government to run our lives we
need them to uphold the Constitution. It is past
time to eliminate the lies and say that our
government isn’t doing its job.
Comments are always welcome.