News snippets

June 30, 2013

We haven’t done a headlines post in a
while so today seemed a perfect time
to correct that.

There are times when people just don’t
get it regardless of the facts at hand.


When mama isn’t happy nobody is happy.


Josh didn’t get what he wanted for


Not really a headline, but still a funny


The award for the biggest ‘doh’ moment goes to…

Did you ever wonder what would happen


And finally, not a headline at all, but
a different way to advertise.
So there is the news you probably didn’t
hear from the drive-by media.
Comments are always welcome.

A very politically incorrect joke

June 29, 2013


Since the fickle finger of fate snuck up
behind us and thumped our earlobe today
we present the following.

Once again we must forewarn liberals,
progressives, members of the NAACP, the
ACLU and others that they may find the
following offensive. Perhaps you should
try another day.

A Mexican (an undocumented Democrat), a
Black (a documented Democrat), a Muslim
and a Redneck were walking together on
a beach when the Black stumbled over a
bottle in the sand. He picked up the
bottle, rubbed the sand off it, and a
Genie appeared.

“I can only grant four wishes,” the Genie
said. “Since there are four of you, you
may have a wish apiece.” Pointing at the
Black, he said, “Since you found the
bottle, you may have the first wish.”

The Black thought for a moment then said,
“I wish for a fleet of ships so that I can
gather all my people and take them back to
our homeland, Africa .” Poof! It was done!
Thousands of ships appeared on the skyline.

The Mexican said, “I weesh for enough Cheby
peekups to take all my peoples back to our
homeland, May-he-co!” Poof! It was done!
Row after row of Chevrolet pickups appeared
on the beach.

The Muslim said, “I wish for a hundred
thousand camels to take all of my people
away from this horrible country loaded with
infidels so we can live in peace in Muslim
countries and serve Allah.” Poof! It was
done! A hundred thousand camels suddenly
appeared on the beach.

Turning to the Redneck, the Genie asked,
“And what is your wish?”

The Redneck watched as the loaded pickups
began moving toward the border, then
looked out to sea and watched the loaded
ships sailing out into the sunset, then he
looked at all of the Muslims getting on
top of the camels and riding off.

The Redneck said, “Just give me a Bud Lite.
It doesn’t get any better than this!”

Comments are always welcome.

Short weekend update

June 28, 2013

The weekend is here, the weather
is cooperating, and the car shows are
great. But If you can’t make a show
just watch the following.

And now, a few shows.

Friday, June 28 and Saturday, June 29
is the Antique Automobile Club of
America Grand National Show at the
John Deere Commons, 1201 River Drive
in Moline, Illinois.

There will be over 300 antique vehicles.
The hours are 6-8 pm Friday and 7am
to 3 pm Saturday. This event is free for

Also this weekend, Friday, June 28 to
Sunday June 30 is the Car Craft Magazine
Street Machine Nationals in Du Quoin,
Illinois. For more information, go here.

Saturday, June 29 is the Wheels Gone
Wild Car Show at the Wild Rose Casino
& Resort, 777 Wild Rose Drive in Clinton,

Sunday, June 30 is the 18th Annual
Colona Freedom Celebration Car Show
sponsored by O’Reilly Auto Parts in
the Hennepin Canal Parkway in Colona,
Illinois. Show runs 8 am to 4 pm.

The song is one we felt fit in with
the shows. We’re sure you’ll like
“Pretty Pink Tractor”.

Comments are always welcome.

Smelling the peanuts

June 26, 2013

We will forewarn you that this post may
be offensive to liberals, tax and spend
aficionados, and those who don’t understand
common sense.

That being said, we count ourselves
among the lucky because we found peanuts
on sale and have stocked up.

With the upcoming circus over the gaming
license we believe peanut prices will

So let’s open the tent flap and take a
little look.

We see the Iowa Gaming Board, the RDA
who holds the license, the proposed future
owner, and our Mayor.

All believe they are the Ringmaster
and therein lies the problem.

The Gaming Board wants to issue a new
license, the RDA wants said license, the
proposed owner wants what the others do,
and our Mayor believes he is an equal

But the license is issued to the County
and not the City. This lessens the
importance of the Mayor in the equation.

Things have gotten to the point that
rumors abound as to the fact that the
Casino does not have to be located in our
fair city.

And the Mayor seems to think that he is
the only one who can close the deal.

He has stated he won’t make negotiations
easy for the proposed owner and wants as
much money as possible for the city.

Most common sense folk look at this as
a situation where a developer wants to
come in, build a Casino with no government
monies, give tons of money at the city per
year, and pay property taxes to boot.

Were we running the show we would smile
all the way to the bank, give the developer
a key to they city, and make him Grand
Marshall of the parade!

But our Mayor thinks the city needs a
bigger cut of the pie.

Nothing says welcome to our fair city
like telling the world you’re going to
gouge a business that wants to locate

We don’t pretend to know how things
will play out, but we don’t have a monkey
in this zoo either.

Once the deal is done, regardless of
where the Casino ends up, we may have
more on the subject.
Comments are always welcome.

On politicians and beer

June 26, 2013

That may seem like an unlikely pairing,
but bear with us and we’re sure you’ll

A friend sent a video of Rand Paul
stating his dismay of the fact that
Senators are passing bills without
reading them first.

If you watched a little of the video,
or have seen it before, you know the
content is enough to drive some to
drink. And they won’t even give us
gas money.

Now that we mentioned alcohol, it only
seems natural to include a video on
“How to Open a Beer”. We will forewarn
you that these methods may not be
approved by Good Housekeeping.

And finally, something totally unrelated,
a lovely little ditty called “If My Nose
Was Running Money”.

And there you have it.
Comments are always welcome.

Of Packards and ceiling fans

June 25, 2013


On this date in 1956 the last Packard
rolled off the assembly line. The
Packard would live on for a few more
years rebadged as Studebakers before
disappearing like a budget in the Obama

Which leads us to today’s post about
a ceiling fan. Yesterday I finished
putting a new ceiling fan in our bedroom.

The wife had been bugging me for some
time to replace the old one. I didn’t
see the need.

Sure, you had to spin it to get it
moving when you turned it on and all
the globes were missing on the lights,
but it worked.

So we bought a new 5-bladed fan with
3 bulbs to replace it.

When the wife asked how long it would
take to do the job she got my standard

Anywhere between 20 minutes and 2
days depending on how things go.

Well things didn’t go.

She claims my mistake lies in my not
reading the directions and I disagreed.
The problem is I didn’t know they now
add plastic motor locks!

Everything went together well the first
time, and it looked purty. However, when
I pulled the chain to start the fan the
racket started.

It reminded me of when we used to put
cards between the spokes of our bicycles.
Not really annoying, but bad for sleep.

So I took a break, read the directions,
and discovered a devious plot called
‘plastic motor locks’.

I tore everything apart, found and
discarded said motor locks, and put the
fan back together.

The fan is now whisper quiet, it only
took 2 hours, and I learned something
from the experience.

It seems it is possible to make a 20
minute job last 2 hours.
Comments are always welcome.

Rainy days and Mondays….

June 24, 2013

As we like to say in the Mid-west; if
you don’t like the weather hang around,
it’ll change. The day started like any
other but by 6 pm reports of 4-6 inches
of rain, tornadoes, and power outages
were coming in from all over.

We didn’t get any tornadoes here, but
we certainly got the rain. I’ll be
checking the basement for water most
of the night. But we still had fun with
a few diversions.

In one diversion, an outfit called
First Run TV has done a half-hour show
about the Guardian Angels.

The show is called “Angels in Action”
and the video was interesting to us
so we thought we’d share it with you.

Some support the group while others have
a dislike for them. We still support them
and wish and well.

And we didn’t make it down to the racers
in the Great Race, but Hemmings blog has some
pictures on their site.

The Great Race site also has some great
pictures of the local
leg of the race.

If you had rain, watch the video, and/or
look at the pictures for a rainy day
diversion. If you didn’t get foul
weather the diversions are still fun.
Comments are always welcome.

Don’t ever….

June 23, 2013

We knew there are crazy laws in many
parts of our country and decided to
research a few to see what we could
come up with.

The list would have been so long it
would have been boring, so we’ll use
the video.

We would really like to hear someone
explain the reasoning behind these laws,
or if anyone was arrested for violating

To be on the safe side, if you have a
hankering to try some of these things,
don’t do them in the places mentioned.

In this politically correct society we
live in today these laws would be
unenforceable anyway. But it sure was
fun watching the video.

As soon as I finish my little project
I’ll watch it again.
Comments are always welcome.

Notes to God

June 22, 2013

Sometimes we believe our kids say it
best. They don’t beat around the bush,
candy coat it, or get political.

And sometimes, like when they write
to God, they are amusing. Here are
some examples from a friend.

The first one has to be a question
any of us would ask.


Some are snitches.


Others air complaints.


And still others over advice.




And the last one we’re guessing wants


As the saying goes: Life may not be the
party we hoped for, but while we are
here we may as well dance…
Comments are always welcome.

Monkey bar

June 21, 2013


While we were stationed at Pearl Harbor
our ship went into dry dock and we would
frequently go to a bar in Pearl City when
on liberty.

The Pearl City Tavern first opened in
1939 and was closed in 1993. At a
later date it was torn down to make
way for a Ford dealership.

Part of the back bar was plexiglass and
behind the glass were tree branches and

But what got everyone’s attention were
the monkeys that scampered over this man-
made formation.

It never failed that after a few drinks
someone would point to a monkey, laughing
like a loon, and say look at those dumb
monkeys watching us.

One slow night the barmaid asked my why
I never pointed and laughed like everyone

To her surprised I said that I thought the
monkeys probably had more fun watching all
the drunks than the drunks did watching

She looked confused so I continued.

See that bigger monkey surrounded by many
others? She said she did.

I told her I imagined he was the Alpha
male and he always sat in the same spot to
get the best view.

“Of what?” she asked.

A crowd was gathering as I continued.

The Alpha male tells the others to watch
because somebody is going to puke on
the bar, someone else will fall off their
bar stool, and a fight powered by liquid
courage would begin soon.

I often wonder what those monkeys thought
when the whole bar turned and looked at
them with straight faces.

And now that I wrote this I hope those
monkeys get out of my brain and leave me
alone for a while.
Comments are always welcome.