Sunday snicker

March 18, 2017

A man walks into a church one day and kneels down to pray. “Lord,” he says, “I’ve made mistakes, but I’m determined to change. If you let me win the lottery, I promise to be a good servant and never bother you again.”

Nothing happens. So the next week the man tries again. “Please, God, let me win the lottery, and I’ll come to church every week.”

Again nothing happens. So the man decides to try one last time. “Lord,” he implores, “why haven’t I won the lottery? Have you abandoned me?”

Suddenly a deep voice booms down from above. “My son, I have not abandoned you, but at least meet me halfway—buy a ticket!”


May your…

March 16, 2017

Just as the sun had set I realized today’s post wasn’t going to
do itself. It had been one of those where everything that had
happened was written about it Murphy’s book of laws. Yet there
were some good moments too. And if you didn’t know it, tomorrow
is St. Patrick’s Day.

In the spirit of day, here are a couple toasts.

May the winds of fortune sail you,
May you sail a gentle sea.
May it always be the other guy
who says “this drink’s on me.”

—————————————-

May the lilt of Irish laughter
lighten every load.
My the mist of Irish magic
shorten every road…
And may all your friends remember
all the favors you are owed!

——————————————

And just because I can’t count-

May the saddest day of your future be no worse
Than the happiest day of your past.
———————————–

Happy St. Patrick’s Day.
Comments are always welcome.


Racists? Really?

March 15, 2017

The Stand Your Ground bill has passed to the Iowa House and
the anti-gun group is going to need a safe space. During the
public speaking speaking segment in our capitol, activists were
vocal. They claim gun owners will shoot people in the street,
their children will be shot because they’re the black kids who
wear hoodies, and worse.

Some have even gone so far as to call Stand Your Ground a
modern day lynching bill. And they are welcome to their opinion
on the subject. One comment, however, sticks in my craw. No
name was given to the person who made the comment that
offends me but they said the only people who want the Stand
Your Ground are ‘white, redneck, racists.’

Merriam-Webster describes a redneck as: a white member of the
Southern rural laboring class.

I will not apologize for being born white, or the fact that
I am a redneck. I AM offended being called a ‘racist’. I don’t
have a racist bone in my body, I don’t hate anyone, and
I don’t know any racists personally. That would make you the
racist.

About 10% of the population of Iowa are concealed carry permit
holders now. We went through this when Iowa changed from may
issue to shall issue. When that bill was being discussed the
same people protested and stated that we would have blood
running in our streets if it passed.

You brought the whole dog and pony show to the Capital, and
when it passed, nothing happened. If you feel safe without a
firearm, that is your right. You do not have the right to try
and take mine away or tell me how I can use it.

Enjoy the rest of our Wednesday. We won’t have another one
until next week. And now, I hear a herd of tacos calling to
me. I may just have to have a dozen or so.
Comments are always welcome.


Thoughts on the weather

March 14, 2017

For a change it was fun watching the local morning news today
as they stumbled over commenting how everyone was surprised
that the weather forecast was so far off. The talking heads
that give their opinion said the snow is done during last
nights broadcast and I woke up to an additional inch of fluffy
white love from above covering everything that had been swept,
shoveled, or had melted yesterday.

A person can listen to news broadcast of the day locally but
as sure as God made little green apples the weather is going to
do whatever it wants. Evidently the people who do these
programs forget the weather doesn’t watch their channel.

Warnings were given about possible black ice later when the
sun goes down and the temperatures drop back to single digits.
At first I think, “how dumb do they think we are?’ Then I
remember the amusing times watching people trying to get their
cars up the hill out front. For a reason I could never figure
out some of these drivers seem to think flooring the gas pedal
will get them up the hill.

When I went over to Dads this morning a broom was thrown in
the trunk so I could sweep his sidewalks, porches, and the
driveway. When finished I went in for chat and we talked about
2 cylinder John Deere tractors. Of course he had to throw in
that they used have to walk six miles, uphill, through snow
drifts taller than they were to get to school.

So all in all, it has been a great day here on the east coast
of Iowa. Our thoughts are with those in the northeast who may
get hit with a couple feet of snow and high winds. Enjoy the
rest of our Tuesday.
Comments are always welcome.


Odds and ends

March 13, 2017

Well we got 7 inches of white fluffy love from above here on
the east coast of Iowa and I don’t think the birds enjoy it as
much as I do. Didn’t even bother firing up the snowblower
either. This was a strange snow as grassy areas got the full 7
inches while roads and sidewalks ended up with about 3.

Since I live in Iowa again this question doesn’t pop up much
but it sure did in my traveling days. It never failed when I
was out of state and somebody asked me where I was from they’d
immediately ask if I knew their friend who used to live here. I
don’t even know everybody in town let alone in the state.

And I was having a great Sunday until the wife reminded me it
was Monday. No, a smart phone wouldn’t help. I’ll keep my flip
phone. Life just seems simpler that way.

Watching the local news one of the stars of the program was
talking about how great ethanol is and why it’s good for us
too. Of course our state is for it, we grow corn! I just
couldn’t believe they got away with broadcasting that many bold
face lies.

Yesterday this flock of geese appeared to be following the
jetliner west. It had me wondering if they didn’t know where
they were going or just thought it was mama. Wish the picture
was better but I couldn’t zoom in closer and keep both in the
shot.

Finally, the wife and I have been having a discussion over who
snores. She claims I do yet when I wake her up so she can get
ready for work the windows are rattling. I can now say the
answer is at hand and should be in mailbox shortly. See below
for my solution to the problem.

Enjoy your Monday or whatever day you think it is. Since I had
beer batter cod and french fries for lunch, supper will involve
a toasted pizza with all the toppings I can fit on top.
Comments are always welcome.


Don’t get squirrely

March 12, 2017

I’ve been told people really do get squirrely when there
is a full moon. Emergency Rooms are busy as are the jails. But
here we ask that if you’re driving and run across a convoy of
of trucks with trailers hauling round bales of hay to take a
deep breath and don’t fly into a rage because it might make you
a minute or two late.

These trucks, mostly heading south, are simply farmers and
ranchers helping farmers and ranchers affected by fires. Oh,
you say the local and national news channels haven’t mentioned
the fact that almost 2 million acres of agricultural land has
burned? These fires have destroyed ranch lands and multi-
generational farms. Some ranchers have lost 80% of their herds
and more animals continue to die as they lose the battle with
smoke inhalation and burns.

Hundreds of calves have been orphaned when their mothers
burned up leading them to safety. And people have died in these
fires trying to protect their livestock and property. So the
trucks are carrying the hay to help and comfort those who have
lost so much. Give them a thumbs up, a smile, or a wave. They
are only trying to help.

If you wish to donate, here is some help.

Read their newsletter here.

Or you can mail a donation to the following address:

WRCF Wildfire Relief Fund
408 SW 7th Ave
Amarillo, TX
79101

Or you can donate by calling:

(806) 374-9722

If you can’t donate, give them a prayer to help them through
this tragedy. And if don’t pray, at least keep them in your
thoughts.
Comments are always welcome.


Sunday snicker

March 11, 2017

A Jewish father was troubled by the way his son turned out, and went to see his Rabbi about it.

“I brought him up in the faith, gave him a very expensive bar mitzvah, cost me a fortune to educate him. Then he tells me last week he has decided to be a Christian! Rabbi, where did I go wrong?”

“Funny you should come to me,” said the Rabbi. “Like you I, too, brought my boy up in the faith, put him through University, cost me a fortune, then one day he, too, tells me he has decided to become a Christian.”

“What did you do?” asked the father.

“I turned to God for the answer,” replied the Rabbi.

“And what did he say?” pressed the father.

“God said, ‘Funny you should come to me…’ “