Gone crazy?

February 23, 2019

I woke the wife up again while making too much noise and thrashing around in my sleep. I knew it was a good one from the look the wife was giving me. But being prepared for such instances as explanation was due. Surely once she heard what the dream was about her mind would change. No sale!

Starting with a question I asked her ‘why don’t mortuaries have half-buckets?’ She asked ‘half-buckets of what?’ and I admitted to knowing what they were used for, only that I sold them. So she asked why I was fighting in my sleep and I explained an idea that didn’t go over so well with the Mortician. It made perfect sense at the time yet looking back perhaps not. I really thought putting a Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise near the entrance would be a no brainer.

First off it would give the mortuary a whole new welcoming smell and one could grab a bite before going to visitation for weird Uncle Phil without drving all over town. Yeah, the mortician didn’t get it either. The wife still thinks I’m crazy and I didn’t help her assessment this morning when I saw a grocery store ad on the kitchen table.

I slapped the table and said ‘that’s it!’, if we sold Snicker’s in the KFC grumpy people could come in and get one then go to visitation with a better attitude. It works on TV. The dream didn’t seem weird to me but the wife has other ideas.

Enjoy the rest of our Saturday because in what will feel like a few hours Monday will be back. Now I need some coffee and a Snicker’s.
Comments are always welcome.


Fighting walls

February 11, 2019

Sometimes strange things happen at night. The wife had Saturday
night off and laid down early, I joined her around midnight. I
woke up around 1:30 am with my heart racing 100 miles-per-hour
and fists clenched. I looked over and noticed her sitting up so
asked her what got her up. “you” she replied.

I was confused until she added that I was grunting and making
strange noises while jerking about. I could see her confusion
so asked her if she had ever fought a wall. That got me the
granddaddy of all looks so I explained.

I dreamed I was outside on a beautiful summer day. There
wasn’t a cloud in the sky or a hint of wind. Then I glanced to
the west and saw some evil looking clouds moving in fast as the
wind picked up. So I ran inside and told her it was going to
rain.

That’s when something happened and I found myself glued to the
wall, near the ceiling, on top of the stove. So I fought, cussed,
and fought some more but couldn’t pull free. I felt like the wall
would grind me into dust.

And that’s when I woke up. Even though the wife is used to my
strange dreams she declared this one stranger than usual. Yet
I’ve been keeping my eye on that wall. It hasn’t tried anything
yet but I’m staying on my toes. I just wish I had gotten further
into the dream so I knew how to fight this invisible force.

Enjoy our Monday as it looks like we’ll be shoveling snow on
the east coast of Iowa.
Comments are always welcome.


Strange ending to Halloween

November 1, 2018

It’s somehow fitting to end Halloween with a nightmare. I just
should have stayed up. Things started pleasant enough with me
doing some wrenching on a ’50 Mercury I had bought and went to
hell in a handbasket quickly after that.

Taking the car for a test drive I was pulled over which was no
surprise as the open headers get attention, but there it got
strange. Another squard arrived and after being searched was
escorted to a very large house and marched inside.

Once the three of us reached the dining room I was released and
told to sit at the table. As I looked around at my table mates I
knew something was up. A judge, two members of the clergy, a
big monkey, my ex-wife, and more policemen sat around the room.

I was then told I was not under arrest but could not leave
until the reason for my being there was explained and
understood. And that’s when the dream got weird. It was stated
that reason for this dog and pony show was my ex-wife wanted to
marry me!

Since I had remarried, and had no intention of ending it, and
I knew the ex really didn’t want to marry me, I refused. The
judge tried to change my mind, the police made it clear they
weren’t happy, the clergy prayed, and the monkey scratched his
armpit. I just sat there.

I was then told my current wife wouldn’t take a large bribe to
let me go so I should just sign on the dotted line, be married
to my ex, and live in the big house. But I couldn’t do it and
said no again. Although the house was huge and the lot it
sat on enormous, it didn’t have a garage!

I was threatened with more days of the same until I agreed and
that’s when I woke up. One eye popped open as I glanced around
the familiar room and saw my current wife sleeping. I think the
dream means I should cut down on my hot sauce with my midnight
snack.

Enjoy our Thursday as Halloween is over and November is here.
Now for some more coffee and a stack of pancakes.
Comments are always welcome.


Dreaming

October 10, 2018

Last night, after eating my last pizza from the freezer, I had
a dream that has stuck with me all morning. A man on a street
corner was delivering a homily to a small crowd of people who
had gathered to hear what he had to say.

When I started listening he was talking of how we are not our
brothers keeper and shouldn’t help those who need help as that
isn’t being a christian or helpful to the downtrodden at all. He
added that helping those who were down on their luck but trying
to get themselves to a better place was the christian thing to
do.

He went on to say all the yelling, rioting, and violence over
simple disagreements were not what a christian should do. A
debate over beliefs should always be civil in nature and one
should be able to walk away, after a handshake with the opponent,
and no hard feelings.

I wasn’t sure where he was going with this or even if he was a
man of the cloth or just someone who felt strongly enough about
his beliefs to speak to whoever would listen. But his words made
me think for some time.

Then, a little later this morning, I was distracted again. I
found that if I held a tictacs box a certain way it would
reflect into my tactical flashlight and tiny dots would move
around the lens. This got me laughing as I enjoyed watching the
tiny dots of light until I felt eyes upon me and noticed the
wife giving me the look.

As I explained it to her it became clear she didn’t share my
fascination or glee. So I sat the tictacs down and came into
the office. And that’s how this story came about. That’s my
story and I’m sticking with it.

Enjoy our Wednesday as we will. I’ll just have to stay away
from the flashlight for a while and things will be fine.
Comments are always welcome.


Day dreaming

May 15, 2018

Sometimes I wonder about us. By us I mean humans and that
mysterious part of us called the brain. The fact that we can
still dream while basically unconscious amazes me. We are sound
asleep but can be wakened by noises, temperature change, and
bad dreams.

Sometimes when we sleep we have dreams that are so pleasant we
wake up with a grin and nightmares so bad we come up swinging.
Yet we sleep through it. As someone who remembers at least part
of these dreams or nightmares, I wake up thinking ‘where did
that come from’.

Some have dreams of falling yet never hit bottom, dreams of
being chased but never caught, and similar ones where we wake up
before we know for sure what happened. What would happen if we
did crash and burn? Would it kill us in our sleep or cause a
heart attack? I guess we’ll never know.

The pleasant dreams are another thing altogether. Meeting kin
who are no longer living, rainbow and unicorns type dreams. Have
you ever wondered why you have nice dreams? We do the same thing
most days yet when we rest we may have a dream or a nightmare.

These can occur even during a nap and not during regular
sleeping hours so it isn’t the length of the snooze that causes
dreams. One wonders; are these nocturnal events the result of
livening up a dull day, tamping down a wild one, or just part
of who we are?

We don’t know the answers but it does make one ponder on a day
that’s too wet to mow. Enjoy our Tuesday as we’re halfway
through the month. Now I need some coffee and a cheeseburger.
Comments are always welcome.


It’s not my fault

March 2, 2018

Last night I had a dream between trips to the head. It wasn’t
as strange as some yet seemed so real I woke up tired. This
dream involved a wooden hulled sailing vessel loaded with
Conestoga wagons and headed for Japan.

In the dream we did everything including loading said wagon into
the hold. Because this occurred in la-la land each wagon had to
be disassembled on the dock, carried to the hold, then get
reassembled. And halfway through the trip we ran into a typhoon
at sea.

I almost came to yelling ‘Land Ho’! When I looked at the clock
it showed we were late for our weekly trip to the grocery store.
After waking the wife and jumping into some denim we made our
way to the mecca of all things edible almost an hour late. And
I was worn out by the time we made it past the produce
department.

Even with the lack of sleep, inability to shake the foggy
brain, and need of coffee we completed our trip only forgetting
half of what we should have got. Due to this fact I will left
with the option of either eating animal crackers plain, or
putting catsup on them.

I guess there’s always the option of making some frosting but
that isn’t going to happen today. My goal at this point is just
to survive this day. If I dream tonight I hope I dream I’m a
tractor. It explains the snoring and isn’t as stressful.

Enjoy our Friday as it means spring is getting closer. In just
9 days we go to Daylight Savings Time and in 18 more days spring
will officially arrive.
Comments are always welcome.


Dream world

January 4, 2018

Last night I thought a solution to my crazy dreams was at hand.
Thinking my habit of eating spicy foods just before bedtime was
the culprit I changed my ways. Instead of pizza, tacos, or 5
alarm chili, a baked chicken breast and baked potato was eaten.

It didn’t work. I dreamed that three of us got in a ton of
trouble traveling around the globe, and beyond. There was
myself, a rotund Scottish organ grinder named Olaf who always
had his pet monkey Pedro on his shoulders, and Sven who was
a world-renowned Romanian chicken wrestler.

We went wherever the winds took us and had no problem finding
the nearest watering hole to wet our whistle. In one such bar an
older lady in an evening gown and dripping diamonds from her
wrist, neck, and ears asked us if we would like to make some
money.

Since the three of us didn’t understand each others I was
appointed spokesman for the group. Olaf spoke with a Scottish
lilt but had a lisp, Sven spoke the language of Romania, and
none of us spoke a language other than our own.

We accepted the lady’s offer so she explained that her prized
pineapple was missing from her refrigerator and she would pay
$32,000 for its return. So off we went in search of the golden
pineapple. Since Olaf had a Porsche we let him drive and we
somehow ended up on the moon but didn’t find the pineapple.

I’m not sure what the dream means but do know now that the
cause is not the type of food eaten before bed. Perhaps I just
have an overactive brain. Enjoy our Thursday and stay warm if
you live in the half of our country that’s subzero.
Comments are always welcome.


Awake in a dream

December 8, 2017

After watching the sunset set fire to the sky I remembered
that I forget to get something written here. For some reason
my brain has been laser focused on trying to decipher a dream
I’ve had for the last 3 nights.

The wife and I are still married in the dream and things start
out normal until we realize said dream is set in the 1940s. We
live in a house I’ve never seen and our daily driver is a
1941 Chevy. Not much strange there as old cars have been a part
of life for 50 years.

The strange part comes when Mom pulls up in 1936 LaSalle
convertible. To my knowledge my folks never owned a convertible
or a LaSalle. When Mom gets out of the car I notice her
familiar blonde hair is different. Halfway down the length of
her hair it is black. She’s been gone for 7 years now yet never
had black hair either.

Right about then I wake up and wonder what’s going on. It may
have no meaning at all much like the cardinals I’ve been
seeing more of lately but still I wonder. It was almost like
at some point she’d dyed her hair black and let it grow out
so the top half would be blonde.

And now I have to start the chores I should have gotten done
during the day. At least the critters got fed. Which reminds
me, I haven’t eaten anything yet today and we restocked the
frozen pizza section of our freezer.

Enjoy our Friday. Here on the east coast of Iowa we have a
dusting of snow in the forecast for tonight,
Comments are always welcome.


What happened?

June 15, 2017

Last night we had a strange sunset after a short burst of rain
so I decided to stay up and get a few pictures of the moon
through the remaining clouds. But as sometimes happens, just
when you think you have things figured out the rules get
changed.

The moon didn’t show in the time I allotted for it to do so and
even though it was the wee hours of the morning when I ventured
back inside, sleep wasn’t in the cards. Finally around 5 am the
sandman came and I didn’t move again until the wife woke me
around 9.

Even with a solid four hour snooze I felt tired because while
I was sleeping I dreamed I never went to sleep because I was
outside waiting for the perfect shot and drinking coffee all
night. It wasn’t as vivid as some dreams, but I knew it was a
dream because I rarely use a tripod.

That and the fact that we don’t have a spiral staircase on
the outside of house. There was quite a view from the top of
the imaginary staircase though. Of course this made me ponder
a few things. Like why are the yellow pages yellow?

Or how many people know Dr. George Horace Gallup was born in
Jefferson, Iowa? If you can’t place who he is just remember
he is the founder of the Gallup Poll and a pioneer in public
opinion polling.

Sorry, got off on a side track. Enjoy our Thursday, we’re that
much closer to the weekend races.
Comments are always welcome.


He missed?

June 11, 2017

Another strange morning at Casa Cruiser when I sat up, wide
awake, at 2 am after an odd dream. I had dreamed while outside
taking pictures of the critters a booming voice from above
shouted “God dammit, I missed!”

After turning on the light and checking for singe marks from
the lightening bolt I felt my body for horns or a tail. As is
the norm, I had neither. Since I had only had an hour of sleep
I did what old farts do in the middle of the night and went to
the can.

More sleep was needed and after what seemed like seconds I was
roused from my slumber by the telephone. I didn’t get it before
the answering machine took over after 3 rings so decided to
check it later. Early morning phone calls are usually not good
news anyway.

I was up again a little after sunrise and decided that was all
the sleep I was going to get and got the newspapers off the
porch to stimulate the old brain. When I reached the kitchen
the caller I.D. informed me it was the wife that called. I
assumed she had to work later so didn’t follow up.

Then I thought perhaps something happened to the car and it
wouldn’t start so I called the wifes’ cellphone. That is when
the dream started to make sense. Turns out she was working at
an apartment complex across the river and her car got towed
from the parking lot!

A couple hours later and $125 poorer she returned home. I was
again outside snapping some pics but didn’t have the nerve to
tell her that yesterdays post caused her car to be towed. God
missed! And we laughed. Not really, but I’m not in the dog
house either.

Enjoy our Sunday. It’s going to be a hot one here.
Comments are always welcome.