What is it with squirrels? The other night I made some
burritos topped with 5 alarm chili for my midnight snack and
later there were squirrels in my dream. These were not ordinary
squirrels either. They were evil spawns of Satan who were
plotting to take over the world.
The next morning I took my camera outside and the first thing
I spy is a squirrel on top of the neighbors roof. Not your run
of the mill ordinary squirrels, but one with an attitude. It
started chattering at me like crazy.
Oh yeah, the dream. So I dreamed that a militant group of
nomadic squirrels were planning to take over the world and they
didn’t know I was listening in on the plans. I can be sneaky
when there is a need.
The plan was simplicity itself in that it involved the general
mistrust of others that is rampant, at least in our country.
The evil critters were going to bring down society without
any violence or shots fired. Our government, religion, schools,
The outlaw squirrels would simply wait until someone in charge
held a meeting and when that someone got to the key point of
their speech a volunteer squirrel would climb up their leg and
snuggle in their skivvies. The speech would be disrupted and
those who didn’t see the squirrel enter the pants would think
the speaker was going insane.
Plans were made to ensure the volunteer could run back down
the pants and to the nearest exit before medical help arrived.
Nobody saw the squirrel go in, nobody saw it leave, but they
did observe the important speaker jumping up and down faster
than a redneck at a hoe down.
To the untrained eye it would appear all people in important
positions had gone off the deep end. After all, would you
believe someone who jumps up in the middle of speech, starts
cussing, and makes moves not normally seen outside of an
exorcism. Trust would be at all time low and protests would
reach record highs.
It was at that point in the plans that the squirrels noticed
me. I somehow made it back inside without a squirrel up my leg
and considered myself lucky. Needless to say, I’m a little
leery of squirrels yet today. I’m having a pizza tonight. Enjoy
our Monday and look out for squirrels.
Comments are always welcome.