A Woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas
cards. “What denomination?” Asked the clerk. “Oh, good heavens!
Have we come to this?” said the woman. “Well give me 50 Baptist
and 50 Catholic ones.”
On a very cold, snowy Sunday in February, only the pastor and
one farmer arrived at the village church. The pastor said,
“Well, I guess we won’t have a service today.” The farmer
replied: “Heck, if even only one cow shows up at feeding time,
I feed it.”
During a children’s sermon, Rev. Larry Eisenberg asked the children
what “Amen” means. A little boy raised his hand and said: “It
means ‘Tha-tha-tha-that’s all folks!’ ”
A student was asked to list the 10 Commandments in any order.
His answer? “3, 6, 1, 8, 4, 5, 9, 2, 10, 7”.
I was at the beach with my children when my four-year-old son
ran up to me, grabbed my hand, and led me to the shore, where
a sea gull lay dead in the sand. “Mommy, what happened to him?”
the little boy asked. “He died and went to Heaven,” I replied.
My son thought a moment and then said, “And God threw him back
Bill Keane, creator of the Family Circus cartoon strip tells of a time
when he was penciling one of his cartoons and his son Jeffy said,
“Daddy, how do you know what to draw?” I said, “God tells me.”
Jeffy said, “Then why do you keep erasing parts of it?”
After the church service, a little boy told the pastor: “When I grow
up, I’m going to give you some money.” “Well, thank you,” the
pastor replied, “but why?” “Because my daddy says you’re one of
the poorest preachers we’ve ever had.”
My wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to
our six-year-old daughter and said, “Would you like to say the
blessing?” I wouldn’t know what to say,” she replied. “Just say
what you ear Mommy say,” my wife said. Our daughter bowed her
head and said: “Dear Lord, why on earth did I invite all these
people to dinner?”