In surgery for a heart attack, a middle-aged woman has a
vision of God by her bedside. “Will I die?” she asks.
God says, “No. You have 30 more years to live.” With 30
years to look forward to, she decides to make the best of
So since she’s in the hospital, she gets breast implants,
liposuction, a tummy tuck, hair transplants, and collagen
injections in her lips. She looks great!
The day she’s discharged, she exits the hospital with a
swagger, crosses the street, and is immediately hit by an
ambulance and killed!
Up in heaven, she sees God. “You said I had 30 more years
to live,” she complains.
“That’s true,” says God. “So what happened?” she asks.
God shrugs, “I didn’t recognize you.”