A friend shared the following and we don’t know who
the author is, but it made us laugh. So we’ll share
it with you.
Church Services in 2018
PASTOR: “The Lord be with you!”
CONGREGATION: ” And with your spirit”
PASTOR: “Will everyone please turn on their tablet,
PC, iPad, smart phone, and Kindle Bibles to 1
And please switch on your Bluetooth to download the sermon.”
“Now, Let us pray committing this week into God’s hands.
Open your Apps, BBM, Twitter and Facebook, and chat with
“As we take our Sunday tithes and offerings, please have
your credit and debit cards ready.”
“You can log on to the church Wi-Fi using the password
The ushers will circulate mobile card swipe machines
among the worshipers:
a. Those who prefer to make electronic fund transfers
are directed to computers and laptops at the rear of the
b. Those who prefer to use iPads can open them.
c. Those who prefer telephone banking, take out your cell
phones to transfer your contributions to the church account.
The holy atmosphere of St. Matthew’s becomes truly electrified
as ALL the smart phones, iPads, PCs and laptops beep and
Final Blessing and Closing Announcements.
a. This week’s ministry cell meetings will be held on the
various Facebook group pages where the usual group chatting
takes place. Please log in and don’t miss out.
b. Thursday’s Catechism Study will be held live on Skype at
1900hrs GMT. Please don’t miss out.
c. You can follow your Pastor on Twitter this weekend for
counseling and prayers.
God bless and have a nice day.
And Jesus wept….
Comments are always welcome.