The day finally arrives: Forrest Gump dies and goes
He is at the Pearly Gates, and is met by St. Peter
The gates are closed, however, and Forrest approaches
St. Peter says “Well, Forrest, it’s certainly good
to see you. We have heard a lot about you.
I must inform you though that the place is filling up
fast, and we’ve been administering an entrance
examination for everyone. The tests are fairly short,
but you need to pass before you can get into Heaven.
Forrest responds, “It shore is good to be here St.
Peter. I was looking forward to this. Nobody ever told
me about any entrance exam. Sure hope the test ain’t
too hard; life was a big enough test as it was.”
St. Peter goes on, “Yes, I know Forrest but the test
I have for you is only three questions.
Here is the first: What days of the week begin with
the letter T?
Second: How many seconds are there in a year?
Third: What is God’s first name?”
Forrest goes away to think the questions over. He
returns the next day and goes up to St. Peter to try
to answer the exam questions.
St. Peter waves him up and says, “Now that you have
had a chance to think the questions over, tell me
Forrest says, “Well, the first one — how many days
in the week begin with the letter “T”? Shucks, that
one’s easy. That’d be Today and Tomorrow.”
The Saint’s eyes open wide and he exclaims, “Forrest!
That’s not what I was thinking, but….. you do have
a point, and I guess I didn’t specify, so I give you
credit for that answer.”
“How about the next one?” asks St. Peter. “How many
seconds in a year?”
“Now that one’s harder,” says Forrest, “but I thunk
and thunk about that and I guess the only answer can
Astounded, St. Peter says, “Twelve! Twelve??! Forrest,
how in Heaven’s name could you come up with twelve
seconds in a year?”
Forest says, “Shucks, there gotta be twelve: January
“Hold it,” interrupts St. Peter. “I see where you’re
going with this, and I guess I see your point, though
that wasn’t quite what I had in mind, but I’ll give
you credit for that one, too.”
“Let’s go on with the next and final question: Can you
tell me God’s first name?”
Forrest replied, “Andy.”
“OK, OK,” said a frustrated St. Peter, “I can understand
how you came up with your answers to my first two
questions, but just how in the world did you come up with
the name of ‘Andy’ as the first name of God?”
“Shucks, that was the easiest one of all,” Forrest
replied. “I learned it from the song….
“ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME
I AM HIS OWN…”
St. Peter opened the gate and said: “RUN FORREST, RUN!!
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