Merry Christmas

December 24, 2008

We’d like to wish everyone a Merry Christmas, or whatever it is you celebrate this time of year. It’s a safe bet that we’ll have a white Christmas this year. I don’t mind snow, but I’ve had enough global warming for one season.

Whatever your plans are for the next two days, please be careful. The roads can be slick, and visibility it lower at times. Now I’ve got to go out and either shovel all the global warming, or shovel a path to my shed to get some gas for the snowblower. My Christmas wish for everyone is that the snow faries come and do your walks while you’re sleeping.
Comments are always welcome.


A Christmas story

December 23, 2008

Here’s a little story that goes to show even Santa has a bad day. We don’t know the author, we just like a good story.

A Christmas Story for people having a bad day:

When four of Santa’s elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as
fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the pre-Christmas pressure.

Then Mrs Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa
even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to
give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.

Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy
bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.

Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum.
When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drank all the cider and
hidden the liquor. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and
it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went
to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open,
and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said very cheerfully, ‘Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn’t this a lovely day? I
have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?’

And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

Happy Christmas Eve Eve. Comments are always welcome.

Back up and running

December 22, 2008

After staying up all night to get the new computer programed, I broke down this morning, picked up my son, and had it sorted out in about 20 minutes. He sorted it out, but I’ll take the credit because I thought about picking him up and bringing him home to do it.

Buying a computer is always an experience for us. My jaw drops at the price, and the wife tells me to ‘quit living in the ’60s’. She informs me that things go up in price. Then I always say ‘then how come everything keeps getting smaller’?

She still puts up with me, even in an electronics store. Even though she knows in those places I have the attention span of a 7 year old with ADHD. At least this time we got someone to wait on us that actually knew something about computers.

Tonight I’ll try to get everything else I need into the new computer, but for now we’re back. And it isn’t such a bad day to stay inside and play with the new computer.
We’re going to do a little Christmas post tomorrow to set the mood. Until then, comments on just about anything are always welcome.

A short update

December 21, 2008

We may be offline for a short while, so I figured I’d let everyone know. We just got a new computer, with a new operating system, and I don’t know how long it will take me to sort out. If all else fails, I’ll call our son and he’ll probably be able to figure out what I can’t.

We’re into the second day of our anniversary. Yesterday we went to a few different stores where I bought the wife a pair of boots and she bought me a pair of winter gloves. Today we braved the Tundra out there and bought a new computer and had lunch at Rudy’s Tacos.

So if you hear strange screams coming from the distance, that will be me trying to figure the set-up out. On the plus side, it’s too cold to throw the computer out the window if things get too hairy. We’ll back just as quick as we can.
Comments are always welcome.

We can’t help ourselves…

December 20, 2008

We have to ask-

If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?

When blondes have more fun, do they know it?

Why don’t we ever hear about a “gruntled” employee?

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered
assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to ‘put your two cents in’… but it’s only a ‘penny for your thoughts’? Where’s that extra penny going to?

Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were
buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Why do hot dogs come 10 to a package, but hot dog buns come 8 in a package?

What disease did “cured” ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would
be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why did we spend 10 years and $12 million to develop a pen that would write in zero gravity while the Russians just used a pencil?

Why is it that people say they ‘slept like a baby’ when babies
wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in
binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They’re going to see
you naked anyway.

Why is ‘bra’ singular and ‘panties’ plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a
horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a
radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re
both dogs!

If you strangle a smurf, what color does he turn?

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn’t he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song
about him?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

We have enough youth. How about a fountain of “smart”?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it’s outside the hemisphere ,
but call it a hemorrhoid when it’s in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad
at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Comments are always welcome.

Happy Anniversary

December 20, 2008

It’s our 21st wedding anniversary.

Wifey, I’d be willing to bet that when I told you years ago I wouldn’t marry you until I quit drinking that you thought we never would get married. I’d also be willing to bet I surprised you when I finally did propose to you.

Every year at this time we have a discussion. My wife swears we were married on the 20th, and all she has to prove it is a marriage license. I on the other hand, have absolute proof. The editor of our car club newsletter, like myself, says we were married on the 21st!

Since then we’ve had a lot of good times, and a few rough spots. Through it all we cruised together. You even got me to take a real vacation once. So, even though you married the most unromantic man in the world, it’s working.

You married a tall, long haired, skinny redneck with a chip on his shoulder the size of a telephone pole. I’ve matured into a tall, long haired, skinny redneck with a smaller chip on my shoulder. From the most unromantic man in the world to his wife, Happy Anniversary. Even though it seems like it at times, I don’t love the cars more than you.

Comments on just about anything are welcome.

Caylee Anthony is dead

December 19, 2008

At a 2:00 pm (est) news conference Medical Examiner Dr. Jan Dervais confiremed that the skull and remains found near the Anthony home are little Caylee Anthony. She also ruled the cause of death as a homicide. While we can’t say it surprised us, it did sadden us.

For the story go to the Orlando Sentinel story. Last we heard, nobody has talked with the mother, Casey, who is in jail charged with the murder. We don’t believe this will help her case. We’re sure this will put this story back on the front page. The grandparents and family friends must be devastated.

Comments on this or any other subject are always welcome.