Observations on aging

November 29, 2010

Sometimes simple things make one wonder if everyone feels
the same way or if it’s just us. Aging is a simple thing
that a lot of us go through and it got us to wondering if
others feel the same way we do.

Here’s a few things we’ve decided-

As we get older time really starts flying, and some of
us have a tendency to try and fix all the worlds problems.
We don’t mean like war, poverty, or natural disasters, but
the real problems facing mankind.

Like when we were younger we had ‘abs of steel’ and now
that has morphed into a bucket of rust.

Or when could remember things and thought our memory was
a steel trap. Now sadly, the trap has rusted.

And when we were younger time seemed to stand still. On
the 10th of December Christmas felt like it was years away
and would never come. As we age we start planning in June
so it doesn’t sneak up on us.

When we were younger we drove flashy cars daily and loved
to feel the wind in our hair. Now a lot of us have a hard
time remembering what hair is.

As we get older we do get a little more leeway than the
younger folks because we have lived long enough to be called
eccentric instead of odd.

Older people seem to read the Bible more than younger folks
and that makes me wonder if they’re looking for loopholes or
cramming for finals.

We wonder why when people see you have a litterbox in the
corner of the room they feel compelled to ask you if you
have a cat. Makes us wonder if they think we’re not house-
broke yet.

Finally, we have figured out that old age is the time when
you still have something on the ball but you’re too tired to
bounce it.
Comments are always welcome.


TSA and Smart cars

November 27, 2010

The following contains my opinion on a few things that
caught our interest lately. Facts and figures may be
mentioned in passing, but for the most part this post
is my opinion.

There are those who say we need the scanners and pat downs
at our airports to keep us safe. Then we caught a news cast
that said out of 450,000 air travelers 6 were found to have
illegal substances on them that the scans found. It was also
stated that another 6 were arrested for suspicious behavior.

Of course the TSA declared they couldn’t release the type
of contraband found during the scans. This leads us to
wonder if the reason behind that decision is because none
of the 6 were carrying explosives or any other harmful goo.
We’re of the belief that had the TSA had found explosives of
any kind it would be in the headlines for days.

The suspicious behavior wasn’t explained either, but couldn’t
that just be having the audacity to question the effectiveness
of the security or agents touching ones junk?

In the October, 2010 issue of Automobile magazine is a list
of new cars that are either on the market now or will be within
a few years. I didn’t have a problem with the electric Mercedes
that could do 160 mph and had a range of 100 miles. Nor did I
have a problem with the Tesla.

Then I read about the Smart ForTwo electric car and some problems
popped up. Why did they bother to mention that it went from 0-60 kph (37 mph) in 6.5 seconds? Can this car even get out of its own way?

The article also stated that a few would be available to the public,
on a 48 month lease at $599 a month. $600 a month a car that slow,
that has 40 peak horsepower and 27 in a full load situation, with an
8 hour recharge using a 220 volt outlet. With a top speed of 62 mph
there won’t be one in our driveway anytime soon.

If you like itty-bitty wheelbases, with itty-bitty tires, bouncy
rides about town, and a one speed transmission, this may be the car
for you in 2012. We’ll wait for Chevy to bring back the rear-wheel
drive Impala SS.
Comments are always welcome.


Giving thanks

November 24, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving to all. We hope everyone has a
long list of things to be thankful for. If you are
driving to be with family and friends, remember to
keep the shiny side up.

We’re thankful for our family and friends who
remind us that even though we’re not perfect they
love us unconditionally.

We are thankful for all the family and friends we
have loved and lost, for when we lose them we reset
our priorities.

We are thankful for all our dumb mistakes as they
help keep us humble.

We’re thankful for all the little things that
bring us joy. We all need a little happiness.

We’re thankful we got the Ford back and returned
the subcompact we used while getting it fixed. We
learned this middle-aged couple were not designed
for a smaller vehicle.

And we’re thankful we still have a pot to pee in
and a window to throw it out of. Happy Thanksgiving.
Comments are always welcome.


Pre-Holiday rant

November 23, 2010

Thursday is Thanksgiving day so we thought we’d do a
rant today, and wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving.
Here’s our thoughts on some things going on in the world.

For a day we driving a 2011 Nissan Versa. The wifes’ car
is in the shop. I don’t see the appeal of a smaller
vehicle for what one gives up. In our case we would
give up comfort, room, power, and a smooth ride to gain
an estimated 3-5 mpg. No thanks, my butt doesn’t need
to feel every bump in the road.

I believe a stock Model A has a wider interior than this
Nissan and is probably faster. This car had a feel that it
could do 0-60 mph in about 2 minutes and would corner
like a bread truck. I can’t wait to get the Ford back.

The TSA has taken the place of Obama-care in the news. It
seems like it has been on the TV news for a month. While we
don’t fly we are amazed at what people will do to able to
board a plane.

We’ve heard about a woman ordered to remove her prosthetic
breast so it could be inspected, a guy who used his cell
phone to record an objection to the possibility of his junk
getting touched, young children getting frisked, and a man
getting his colostomy bag ruptured during a search.

And yet people put up with it. Nobody should have the right
to feel up another person. Especially if said person is of
the other sex or a child. This appears to be legal molestation.
Instead of the government getting defensive, they have a duty
to look at other actions that would work. And the airlines
should do something as this has to be hurting them.

Recent rumors are saying our dollar won’t go as far come
April. Everything from cotton to sugar is predicted to go up
in price. And if the cost of a barrel of oil hasn’t gone up
why has our gas prices?

And what about the government wanting to police the internet?
In the program we watched a government employee told listeners
that they are thinking about doing it so we don’t get conflicting information. Brilliant idea to just allow your side of the argument.

There is also talk of getting less city services nationwide
in the coming year. We haven’t heard specific cities mentioned,
but got the impression it may be widespread. It could get
interesting.
Comments are always welcome.


Worthless data 2

November 22, 2010

We did a post on November 15th called ‘Worthless data’
that contained an unscientific survey about police calls
in our city. That post covered the week of October 31st
to November 6th, 2010. This post will do the same for the
week of November 15-21, 2010.

We are still working on compiling information for any
crimes we may study, but for now will stick with what
we started with. Assaults, burglaries, disturbances,
larceny from buildings, larceny from vehicles, shots
fired, and vehicle thefts.

In this post we will note both this weeks numbers, and
the numbers from the first study. We hope this might
help find a trend in the crimes. So we’ll get started.

In our first survey there were 20 assaults and this time
there were 9,

Burglary was at 44 and in this survey there were 25.

Disturbances had 17 last time and 22 now.

Larceny from buildings had 4 calls and now that’s 9.

Larceny from vehicle was 12 and now it’s 10.

We had 3 shots fired calls in the last survey and 1 in
the latest.

We had 7 vehicle thefts before and now we have 8.

Unofficially, that would make it appear that assaults
are down, burglary is way down, disturbances went up,
larceny from buildings doubled, larceny from vehicles
has dropped slightly, shots fired calls are down by
two-thirds, and vehicle thefts are up.

We are also charting some other crimes and may post the
numbers on them if something turns up. It looks like
domestic problem calls and criminal damage calls are up
but we can’t swear to it. We’ll find out a little more and
have something for a post soon.
Comments are always welcome.


Parental warning

November 21, 2010

With the holidays almost upon us we thought it time to give
a shout out to the parents with male dependents. Yes, we’re
talking about the parents of boys. We received the following
and decided to share it with you.

NOTE: Do not attempt No.8 indoors!

a) For those with no children – this is totally hysterical!

b) For those who already have children past this age, this is
hilarious.

c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.

d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.

e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.

The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, Texas.

Things I’ve learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. foot
house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old boy’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not
strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear
and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however if tied to a paint
can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20×20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a
few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a
long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn’t stop a baseball
hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words “uh oh”, it’s
already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though
a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies .

10.) Certain Lego’s will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year
old boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still
can’t walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR’s do not eject “PB &J” sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do
not like ovens.

20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy

24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

Comments are always welcome.


School daze

November 20, 2010

We don’t know if the following is really true or not but have
decided to use them anyway. If you are a parent we hope you
don’t think of your child when you read it.

These are actual comments made on students report cards by
teachers in the New York City public school system. All teachers
were reprimanded (but, boy, are these funny!)

1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and
has started to dig.

2. I would not allow this student to breed.

3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.

4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails
to achieve them.

6. The student has a ‘full six-pack’ but lacks the plastic thing to
hold it all together.

7. This child has been working with glue too much.

8. When your daughter’s IQ reaches 50, she should sell.

9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t
coming.

10. If this student were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered
twice a week.

11. It is impossible to believe the sperm that created this child
beat out 1,000,000 others.

12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.

If these are true we don’t know how many of the teachers are still
employed. We just figured it might be good for a chuckle.
Comments are always welcome.


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